The WIFEY Chronicles

Shipwrecked

2012-01-23T12:25:00.000-08:00

All of us have heard of the tragic story of this capsized Ship Contra Concordia Last week in the news. My sister is the one who urged me to read up on the details of this awful human made catastrophe over near Rome. What appeared to be the beginning of a wonderful and luxurious vacation, ended in being some families worst nightmare.

Couldn't catch my breath as I read things like "having dinner with a blonde" "deviated from the original course" "too close to shore" "wanting to show off and pull the foghorn"..................are we talking about a Captain of Cruise liner or my 21 year old nephew? Not sure? Let's examine the facts. We all have been or will be shipwrecked spiritually one day in our journey to wholeness. The truth of the matter is our choices can put lives in harms way and cost us major collateral damage in the long run.

I may not be in charge of 4,000 lives but God did put me in charge of a household. There is a husband and children involved and when my ship(spiritual life) cap sizes, their lives are at stake. Every time I deviate from Gods will or plan for my life-it can cost others around me pain and suffering. Any time I choose to glorify myself and exalt my own needs it robs God of his Praise and honor. And any time I get to close to sin or pretend I'm in a gray area that's safe-I flirt with danger.

This man made human error, errors we all make through our unchecked pride, ego, and unwise decision making. Yes we can sigh a sigh of relief because our yucky self stuff isn't on CNN but at the end of the day, stepping outside of the will of God looks like a huge ship sinking in the ocean and human lives at risk.

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11

Womens Conference

2011-12-29T14:02:00.000-08:00

Women of Favor Presents
"A Season of Refreshing"
Women's Conference January 6 @ 7:30pm/ January 7 @ 10am
at The South Natomas Community Center
2921 Truxel Road
Sacramento, Ca 95814
To register now go to btfministries.net or email btfministries@earthlink.net 281)288-5291

Please join Special guest Speakers Pastor Elvira Craig and Clerenda McGrady and your host Dona Jackson

Award and Reward

2011-12-04T18:25:00.001-08:00

Today I was ready to walk away from entire family. Yes, even the littlest cute one. They had discovered the right nerve to hit when I told them we would not be getting a dog. Barely wanting to clean up behind themselves I rejected the thought of getting another being to clean up and take care of. I'm knowing that when their at school and work, guess who would get left to care for another small being. So clearly my family in their jokingly ungrateful banter decided that they would gladly choose the dog over me.

I knew they were joking and clearly wanted to prove a point for a puppy, but it hurt me very badly and I couldn't help but to get frustrated. Feeling totally unappreciated like most Moms do from time to time-I shut down. I finished dinner and then politely retreated to my prayer closet to vent to Jesus and my winter coats.

It hit me like a ton of bricks as I sat asking God could I beat them into Easter; "There is no award ceremony on Earth for Gods servants, our greatest rewards will be given in heaven". What a shift in my mind, I can't work for these people-they will suck the goodness out of me if I let them. I have to work as though I am working for the Lord-period! My work and service has to be heaven focused and not earth focused. Hard as it sounds I have to remind myself that God does so many wonderful things for us and probably feels the same when we don't give him the glory for it. So why should I get a moment to throw a fit if God doesn't do that with us his selfish creation?

I serve in honor of God, whom I can't out give, out love, or out serve.

Strong holds!

2011-11-02T09:08:00.000-07:00

I had to share excerpts from "Breaking Free" by Beth Moore. This is my second time reading this anointed piece of work, that I couldn't keep it to myself.

-A stronghold is anything we hold onto or holds onto us; strongholds are like concrete fortresses we've constructed around our lives block by block, ordinarily over the course of years. We create them for protection and comfort sometimes unknowingly. Eventually we stop controlling them and they control us.

-Satanic strongholds require divine (Godly) demolition. Discipline and determination are often important factors in opening your life to the supernatural power of God, but only he can provide the divine dynamite needed to destroy a stronghold.

-In ancient Corinth every greek city had a stronghold, a fortress on top of the highest peak in the vicinity a place of hiding for the governors of the cities in time of insecurity or war.

-An important part of learning to live in victory has been discerning the heart rumblings of insecurity. Learn to dramatically increase your prayer life and time in Gods word during times when your security is threatened.

-The devil can't exploit your insecurity and bluff your strongholds when your clinging to God. Do not make excuses for pulling down your strongholds, satan persists where a stronghold exists. He will supply an endless list of rationalizations for the things we do and refuse to do.

-Every stronghold is related to something we have exalted to a higher position than God in our lives (ex. control, Husbands or kids).

-Every stronghold pretends to bring something we feel we must have: aid, comfort, the relief of stress, or protection.

-Humble hearts are always ready to break free, the proud are never free!

-Satan wants us to either worship him or anything other than God. God created us to worship we will worship something.

-Strongholds affect the behaviors of a believer. Satan can't enter a believer but he can persuade or lead us to do things.

-In order to come against satans lies and tactics we must know the word of God well. Training our minds with the truth of God. Victorious lives flow from victorious thoughts. Thinking victorious thoughts comes from setting our focus on a victorious God.

For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. 2 Cor. 10:3-5

What IF

2011-11-01T12:54:00.000-07:00

1. What if all believers really believed God?

2. What if every child on earth received a toy for Christmas?

3. What if Starbucks made organic coffee?

4. What if God ended divorce?

5. What if T.V. was good all the time?

6. What if Christmas was in July?

7. What if Angels didn't exist?

8. What if every wife submitted to her husband as unto the Lord?

9. What if everyone was accountable for their own actions?

10. What if God treated us the way we treat him?

Win Your Husband!

2011-10-25T18:38:00.000-07:00

Win your husband with a quiet and gentle spirit? Wow! Peter states this in his book the first chapter. How can I win if I don't give him a piece of a mind? Peter I want to win with my words, actions, silent treatments, withholdings, etc. Gentle and quiet looks weak and simple. Right?

Wrong! I have never won my husband over with my tongue (the verbal assassin). Not once have I really won an argument, however, I have managed to kill my husband spiritually and emotionally. I manage to kill his spirit, his joy, his respect level, and his manhood with the words of retalitation that come from my mouth. As hard as I have tried to respect and honor him, when my trigger switch is flipped the alarm goes off and I see red. I have no control and out comes the assaults and indictments.

If your like me, you love a dig and low blow to keep your cute little husband in his rightful place-right? Well here's the deal-it hurts God just as much as it hurts our Men. An hour after I so called won the fight, I feel so convicted and evil. I wanna kick my own butt for allowing my flesh to rule over me.

What if I decided to win with a gentle and quiet spirit? What would his spiritual walk look like if I shut up sometime? What would his career feel like if I encouraged him more instead hawking him? This is what I heard today in bible study. All of us women were convicted of allowing control, self rigtheous indignation, and manipulation rob our husbands of respect.

1 Peter 3 Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, 2 when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. 3 Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. 4 Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. 5 For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to adorn themselves. They submitted themselves to their own husbands, 6 like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her lord. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear.7 Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers 8 Finally, all of you, be like-minded, be sympathetic, love one another, be compassionate and humble. 9 Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult. On the contrary, repay evil with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing. 10 For, “Whoever would love life and see good days must keep their tongue from evil and their lips from deceitful speech. 11 They must turn from evil and do good; they must seek peace and pursue it. 12 For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous and his ears are attentive to their prayer, but the face of the Lord is against those who do evil.”

Oh Lord! How do I accomplish this in my right mind and not heavily sedated or in my dreams? By the Power and Manifestation of the Holy Spirit in me. Without God in control and steering this vessel nothing is possible, with him all things are possible.

Restitution

2011-10-11T22:12:00.000-07:00

Last night, I sat very still in my prayer closet hoping to hear from the Lord, and boy oh boy did he answer. I grabbed a pen and began to journal what the Lord was saying to me with his still small voice.........

I am the restitution not you-Dona! I am the way , the truth , and the life no one comes to the Father except through me. It's not the Church, your doctrines, your personal theologies, or your best testimonies that lead my children to the Father-it's me! I choose the time and place; the hour is mine-not yours. You lay seeds on my behalf and that is all that is required-seeds that are useful but not divine. Intervention is the Fathers choice-it's never fickle or biased. You put human parameters and measurements on my work; please don't let your flesh deceive or fool you into believing that your good works always glorify me. You can not save anyone-not even yourself-It is I, the great I am!

Not knowing what the word restitution meant, I looked it up on the web and found this.....Restitution is the act of restoring to the rightful owner something that has been taken away, lost, or surrendered. Halelujah! The Lord checked me real quick-He is going to restore everything that was taken from me, my childhood, and my marriage-I can stop striving to fix it. What a wonderfully big and spiritual word my big God used to put me back in my place-he's got this life all under control all by himself.

10 things

2011-09-26T10:32:00.000-07:00

10 Things I learned this past week.........

1. God Keeps his promises

2. The devil is real but defeated

3. 2 year olds are bossy and rude

4. Everyone needs a good team not just Athletes

5. Sleep and Rest are two different things

6. Our Foundations need a Foundation

7. 2-15 year old boys in one house is ________________!

8. You don't have to tell everyone what God tells you.

9. Some people like being victims.

10. Distractions is the new procrastination.

I love You!

2011-09-19T13:00:00.000-07:00

When you say I love you, what do you really mean by it? I mean really, we say "I love you" all day to those we love but do we really mean "Love"? 1 Corinthians 13 says Love is patient, Love is Kind. It does not envy it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self seeking, it is not easily angered, It keeps no record of wrong doings. Love does no delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. And if this doesn't knock you out-Paul goes on to say v. 13 out of Love, hope, and Faith; Love is the greatest.

Today as I fought the urge to tell off a family member for never being satisfied, I fell upon this scripture. Ha! The Holy Spirit always knows where I need to be to refocus my motives and my desires. I was angry, hurt, validated, and justified in what I was ready to do and say to this person; until God subdued me in my pride and suggested that I take a look at love. In fact, I'm so convicted that I really don't think I love anyone anyone according to God's standard of love. I can have Hope and Faith, but without godly love its irrelevant?????

Way to invade my personal space God! Thanks for checking me when I was ready to do the checking; I'm not loving or the loving type; I'm going through the motions and there's no love behind it. Love those even when they deserved to be slapped in to Christmas? The scary part about Love is it's not a feeling although the world tricks us into thinking it is. Love is actions and a bunch of selfless and humiliating ones at that. Lets be honest, without God in and through us there's no way we can really love ourselves, our spouses, or our children in the way that God loves us. However, he is clear that things are impossible with man but always possible through him Matthew 19:26.

Now What

2011-09-13T22:20:00.000-07:00

Now What? I feel burnt out and emotionally drained. If it's not one thing it's another; and my patience are wearing thin. Someone may get slapped past Christmas Eve. Today is day I want to lay down under the covers. I feel so irrelevant in a time where everyone wants to be relevant and important. Let's face it, were now in a time where if it doesn't have 10,000 followers or more it's irrelevant.

Outside my gates through Gods grace and favor I can touch many; inside my front door-I feel as though I can't squash a grape right. Trying to live in the admonition of the Lord and bringing my little sinnerlings along for the ride is pointless. Their looking at me like I'm crazy. The going rate lets their kids see R rated movies and hang out where ever and however. If I conform to patterns of this world, I hurt God. If I conform to the will of God; I stretch my family? Huh? Hold up-wait a minute.

I lay here, ready to throw a flag on the play. Fingers and tongue about to fumble; but that would mean defeat. Giving up now means that I don't trust my God knows whats best for me and my family. Giving up now means that the word of God holds no value and it's not an absolute.

So I choose not to give up, I'm reminded of Ephesians 2:8-10 For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith-and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God, not by the works so that no one can boast. For we are Gods workmanship created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us.

How refreshing it is to know that God called me to this in advanced, he called all of us in advanced to do his works and if were in line with his commands and his will then we should have no problem getting right back up and running the play for Christ. I'm tired but I refuse to measure my work in Christ according to folks reactions, behaviors, or the circumstances around me. I will work as unto to the Lord and forget about that warm and fuzzy feeling for now. My job is to plant the seed and let the plowman/vinedresser do the cultivating.

Pride and Glory

2011-08-03T15:42:00.000-07:00

Pride???? Is it anywhere in your life? At first thought your like No I'm not a proud person. Most of us think were pretty humble. Unless we step back and ask ourselves who gets the glory out of everything we do. This summer God has really been dealing with my heart on the issue of Pride. Is it my friend or my enemy? Am I humble or haughty?

The sad truth about me is that I struggle with pride, huge amounts of it. It's so dangerous in my spiritual life that God refused to sit by and watch it ruin my life. Pride almost ruined my marriage, ministry, and purpose. Through scripture, prayer, and some painful situations I was able to see me the way God sees me. The way I saw myself was self righteous and self dignified. I was able to see that behind the church chat was some self centered self indulged motives and intent.

My life is built but being torn down by the power of the Holy Spirit into a place that doesn't promote my fame or notariety, but glorifies God. Pride says I deserve better..........Me Myself, and I and we all deserve glory, honor, respect, and trouble free lanes. Not gonna happen! Pride says I'm better and greater than, when the bible says on my best day I'm like a filthy rag. Pride is my enemy and it's clever because it tricks me into thinking I've done some things that justify righteousness or goodness.

Humility is a choice, it's bowing before a holy God and saying only you deserve the glory and the honor. Humility is allowing my life to reflect that of Christ even on my worst days. Humility is realizing that pride will ruin all that God wants to do in my life and submitting to his will. Pride unfortunately will destroy some and build others when the truth is exposed. Those of us whose daily prayer is "Lord, remove the Pride and replace it with your humility" can move forward in spiritual growth and maturity.

Everyday I'm asking God that he will reveal any area in my life where pride is trying to deceive me or lead me astray, Less of me and more of him. It's hard when your a recovering control freak who thinks she knows everything; surrendering my desires, goals, needs, and desire to be first is a choice I want to make for him. Pride has to go, even when I feel that it's company is enjoyable.

Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall. Proverbs 16:18

Boats and Anchors

2011-07-01T23:59:00.000-07:00

Today my husband took the kids and I out to the lake by our home and rented a beautiful boat for us to ride on. It was super fun for everyone. The kids were tubing and we were able to enjoy the scenery of the lake and peacefulness of it all. Who knew this amazing treat has been right down street. So as we continued on our tour and ride on the boat, our personal driver-this real nice college kid named Alex decides to stop the boat so the kids could swim. About 20 minutes into the swim he discovered we needed to put the anchor out. I being ignorant to boats and the techniques of it all asked "What is the anchor for"? "It's to keep us from drifting off into the yucky areas" he replied.

What a spiritual moment I had with the Lord on that boat, Jesus has to be my anchor at all times. Without him holding me down, keeping me in the right position at all times, I could end up like the boat-drifting off into yucky places. How precious it is to know that we have access to the right anchor. This week I was ready to drift off on my own thinking I could hold it all together; not realizing that I was actually about to sink.

How sweet of an illustration God used to deal with my drifting spirit this week, he is my anchor never will he let me drift away from the peaceful shore without pulling me back into safety.

Dead Bones

2011-06-01T12:24:00.000-07:00

Are you worried about someone or something? I am, there are some people I really love and care about that I'm really concerned about. Praying and worrying are what I've been doing as I watch these folks struggle. Some are struggling so bad I'm wondering how this is going to work out? Lord this looks impossible to me! And this morning he sent me to the book of Ezekiel.

He asked me, Son of man can these bones lives? I said sovereign Lord you alone know." Ezekiel 37:1-13 Go on to read how the Lord made Ezekiel remember that he is the God who makes dead things come to life. He told Ezekiel to prophesy over the dead bones (which represented Israel) which ultimately is us. God did some remarkable things in my life. Who knows where I would be without his breath on my neck. He reminded me that if he could transform my wretched life, certainly he will do the same for others. Why worry for others hardships, when I know that he keeps on redeeming my life-he will do the same for the rest of his people.

God doesn't play favorites, we are the apple of his eye. He can do all things and his hands are still moving, still holding, and still transforming the lives of the most wicked and hopeless lives. Don't be discouraged as you don't see the final result-God sees the finish line. All we have to do is get back in the race and take our brethren with us.

Love

2011-05-23T11:36:00.000-07:00

Love Each Other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins 1Peter 4:8. How precious yet so profound is this. God is saying to us that Love will make the difference in our marriages, ministries, jobs, children, etc. I didn't get this at first glance until I had to encounter some pretty ugly situations this week. How can I love the person who is making my life hell? How can I love the ones who secretly want my marriage to fail? How can I love when hate is boiling in my blood? How can love cover sins?

It's simple, Jesus first loved us on that painful cross therefor we must love also. Real talk no one has done us worst than Gods people did Jesus. Although your pain, trial, or tribulation may feel like your being nailed to a cross with a crown of thorns on your head, it doesn't compare to the love he gave us. If I'm truly operating under the power of the Holy spirit and I'm trying to look through a Christ centered lens then I know that I can love those who seek to suck the life out of me.

And maybe Gods just urging us to love that unlovable person on the job or in the PTA meeting. Maybe God wants us to love our husbands even when their on our last good nerve. All I know is that he says love will cover a multitude of sin, which explains why I feel loved and adored in spite of my evil ways. I'm not saying give someone the key to your heart or home, I'm saying God wants us to show love and be examples of his love even when the person deserves a holy beat down.

His love will always cover our sin why can't we return the favor?

Beware!

2011-05-04T12:11:00.000-07:00

"Beware of thinking that intercession means bringing our own personal sympathies and concerns into the presence of God, and then demanding that He do whatever we ask" says Oswald Chambers. Beware of how I pray? Huh? At first glance you can get real self righteous and go "All prayers are good and right" and then you step back and realize that sometimes their may be some indifference. I realize that when I live this prayer life, I need to be so identified with Jesus in my prayers that I pray some bold and courageous prayers "Not my will, but thy will be done".

Have you ever prayed for someone close to you and felt sorry for them or their circumstance and prayed "God help so an so please" or "Bless so and so right now Lord, they need you"? I have, I intercede for many people I love and care for and some complete strangers but it's always what I think they need or desire. My prayers have my insight in the natural realm at hand, I see something I want for someone and I pray that need on them. Forcing Gods hand? Asking God for my will? What if God wants to break that person down to the point of complete surrender? What if God wants to see that person stripped of everything so they have no where to go but to him? What if God wants us to know him and not just the blessings and favor? What if we started praying "Our Father who is in Heaven, Hallowed be thy name, thy kingdom, thy will be done"?

I feel today that Lord wants me to start redirecting my prayers for others and myself in the direction of his perfect purpose and plan for each one of us. Discernment and the promptings of the Holy Spirit (Gods spirit) should be my guide at all times. As much as I may not be ready to see God do it his way, I am ready to submit my prayer life to his will, his time, and his way.

Perfection!

2011-05-02T13:56:00.000-07:00

We can spend our whole lives trying to obtain perfection or something close to it. We can jump through hoops and bend over backwards to achieve success and meet tons of goals; only to feel like we may have failed or missed the mark. Some days I wonder if I'm a good Mother a good wife a good disciple a friend a good daughter and so on. I try and get so many things done in a day hoping, I didn't miss anything or neglect any ones needs. I struggle with my purpose and hope that I'm either fulfilling it or close to it. It can be brutal on our emotions to wonder if we have arrived at our destinations at the right time and in the right season; it can be taxing on my mind just guessing if I have even pleased God in anything that I do. So many things I feel I want to do in my lifetime however long that might be but not sure if they will get done, I found reassurance in Philippians when Paul encourages us to press on even though we may not have completed the picture or plan for our lives. We don't have to be perfect, keep it all together, and struggle for worldly success. All we need to do is keep pressing on, moving forward in that which Christ calls us to do. He will equip us for whatever it is he desires for us to do or accomplish in our lifetime.

Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Philippians 3:12

My Redeemer Lives!

2011-04-23T21:23:00.000-07:00

I would love to stock my kitchen and walls with cute cuddly bunnies and festive colored eggs, but what would that say about my life or the season I celebrate. My sin is not colorful nor is it warm and fuzzy-I need a blood sacrifice. So I decided to put Jesus up. No dye or bright colors just a beautiful reminder that if it had not been for the Grace of God I would be dead, dead maybe in a grave or dead in sin and my transgressions. Sorry I can't let my children believe in the power of the bunny. I have a crown of thorns on my mantle to remind us that our Redeemer lives. He came to take away our sin-now that brings bright colors and warm fuzzy emotions of joy and peace. Happy Easter!

It is a Good Friday

2011-04-22T23:01:00.000-07:00

This time last week, it was as though my head were about to split and then explode off my shoulders. Pain began to pierce my skull from my forehead to the back of my neck. What did I do to deserve this pain I begged God. Please make it go away I pleaded as I squeezed my temples. Completely ready to burst the pressure bubble in my head sitting inside our rental car on a small road outside of Denver-I wondered if This was what a crown of thorns could have felt like.

The heaviness and weight that was pushing on my shoulders and causing me to readjust my body in an upright position, it was unbearable. The devil was trying to push harder but I kept pressing through, I wanted to lay this weight down like the Cross Jesus had carry for my sins. Imagine what the jagged edges and splinters would do to my flesh. Imagine what it did to his.

I sat staring out the window in to a beautiful sky and asked God "Why does this keep happening, why must I bear this" and like Christ I instantly changed my tune to "Thy will be done". I felt stripped down to nothing, barely even there. No amount of material possession or wealth could reassure me I had it all. Stripped of his clothes and beaten while practically naked, the enemy will try and strip us of all we have. But that doesn't stop God from accomplishing his plan and purpose.

A week later, I can say "It's finished" my sin of trying to "fix it, control it, manipulate it" is being crucified with my savior. It's a Great friday to rejoice that Jesus Christ is Lord of my life nothing can keep me from him.

Jesus Heals the Blind

2011-04-13T12:24:00.000-07:00

As I read the short passage from Matthew 9:27-31 I am so encouraged to the point of fanatic joy. I want to yell Hallelujah at the top of my lungs but realize I'm in the public library and refuse to have security called. Two blind men called out to Jesus "Have Mercy on us son of David" and in return he asked them "Do you believe that I am able to do this?" "Yes Lord" they replied. Then the Lord touched their eyes and said "According to your faith will it be done to you"; and their sight was restored.

Two things stood out, the blind men sought the Lord and the Lord asked them did they really believe he could do it. How many of us sit in our pew, car, shower, or office chair and really believe he's capable of doing the impossible. Everyone has something in their life right now that their going "Yeah right Lord" to. I know I do. I lay ed in the bed last night going, "Really, God?" My heart and mind are in combat, one believes and the other doubts. Do I trust my heart or my mind? I'm looking at the things around me going "How" and "When" this even has satan scratching his head.

And then it came to me, I use my Faith to trust in a God who is the great "I am". He is saying "I am" whatever your need me to be or do to fulfill "my plan" not "your plan". God is bigger than my biggest imagination or my critical thinking. My emotions, heart, and my mind can lead me astray especially when they are focused on ungodly things. How can I trust myself when I've been filling up on reality t.v., Internet, and foolish chit chat? I can't- I have to go back to my Faith and believe that Jesus Christ is Lord over my life and he knows what's best for me.

I can't trust in Dona-it's foolish idolatry and ignorant narcissism. I have to believe in the Most high God who is more than enough for anything I face in this lifetime. I have to believe in someone I can not see-that's real Faith.

"According to your faith will it be done to you" Matthew 9:29

This week I learned

2011-04-08T11:45:00.000-07:00

Things I learned this week.......

-You can get 2 pumps of White Chocolate instead of 4 in your Mocha and it's still super sweet

-2nd graders are bossy

-Hair means a lot to women

-Married people get bored easily

-God controls the weather not weather.com

-That prayer has to be a lifestyle

-Reality shows are all scripted even though we think it's not

-That teenagers really do think they know everything

-God is enough

-Were not wearing traditional Easter clothes on Easter

I will not be Mastered

2011-04-05T09:24:00.001-07:00

Today I'm declaring victory over things I will not be mastered or defeated by:

1. My past mistakes, hurts, or hang-ups

2. Food and the pleasure of excess

3. The phone

4. What people think of me

5. The lies the devil whispers

6. Fear

7. Doubt or Worry

8. Guilt or Shame

9. Materialism

10. Pride or ego-tripping

I have the right to do anything, you say but not everything is beneficial. I have the right to do anything, but I will not be mastered by anything. 1 Cor. 2:12

Am I Surrendered

2011-02-22T13:19:00.000-08:00

The sun is finally shining after a long dreary week. We had a ton of rain, and I am a person who needs the sun and the blue sky. Not until my thirties did I realize how grateful I am for California weather and sunshine-it's amazing grace. If you live here, you can definitely relate. So today I sit here looking out my window at another pretty day to start another great week.

Last week was kind of hard because, I felt somewhat depressed and heavy. I wasn't sure if God was pleased with my works or happy with my life. I live in this "works" are good mentality when there is only one thing God really requires of me "total surrender". If my life is totally surrendered to him then obedience should come naturally and works should be my devotion to him not striving for awards. So I sat at my desk asking God if my life is totally surrendered to him and this was the response I received........

"Spend time with me"

"Rejoice in me"

"Praise me"

"Worship Me only"

"Live like heaven is tomorrow"

"Love me with all your heart"

"Obey me"

His response was firm yet so attainable. Sometimes we look at our relationship with God kind of like our roles as Mothers or Wives, long laundry list. He requires some sacrifices on our part but I believe in my heart-loving God is the easiest task on earth. Surrendering to him, isn't this hard ritualistic task, it can start with the same directions I was given. Don't let the enemy confuse you, a life surrendered is a life completely satisfied.

The Job

2011-02-02T13:02:00.000-08:00

It's been a while since my last post, but let me tell you, it's been quite the break. Over the years I have taken the advice of many Christians and loved ones who mean well, many who want to see me do great things with my life. Their motivation and inspiration can be so exciting that even I have to step back and wonder. Over the past 12 years I have been a stay at home Mom, leaving the work force as a vapor in my rear view to take care of my growing family. Always pursuing many endeavors or avenues, nothing ever holds my interest or comittment. Why is that? Is it because I'm inconsistent, procrastinating, or afraid to make some career power moves or does God have a special purpose and plan for my life that only he knows and only he can shape and mold?

Sitting in my car listening to a loved one encourage me to do something God already said "Too Late" on, I was led to pray. With a house full of children and a husband, is this the right time to open up a business, get a job, or travel around for senseless reasons? Of course not! In fact God needs me to be on the rampart for my family, isn't that a big enough job in itself? It depends on who you ask.

Not interested anymore with trying to figure out ways that will make seem important, relevant, or successful I have found this one scripture to be my 2011 calling 1 Corinthians 2:2(Amplified Bible) For I resolved to know nothing (to be acquainted with nothing, to make a display of the knowledge of nothing, and to be conscious of nothing) among you except Jesus Christ (the Messiah) and Him crucified.

Some will find this shocking, others will totally relate. All I need to do right now is focus on Christ and his will for my life. I refuse to make my life busy with things that don't Glorify God or his spirit in my life. I would love to jet set but at what price? My family is a special and precious tool/assignment that God is using to build me up for future kingdom work, and right now all I can do is focus on him and what he has for me today.

Happy New Year!

2011-01-03T12:54:00.000-08:00

Every year we set out on a quest to make a list of resolutions, goals, or visions to complete. Every year I tell myself what I"m not going to do. And no soon as the ball drops and the flutes are in the trash can, I'm repeating some old funky stuff. So this year, I decided to be open to Gods voice, the voice that will correct me when I"m wrong. I will listen out for his voice when my sin takes me off the straight and narrow path he has, he will make my crooked places straight. I will make myself available for whatever he decides he needs me to do, even if it's painful or lack luster. Unable to see the future or predict this years outcome, I will say that I will trust that he knows what's best for me. He promised in Jeremiah 29:11 that he will give me a future and a hope, he has plans to prosper me (not just financial) and not harm me. This year is going to be a tricky year for me, I'm going to trust God at his word. Nothing else will matter if I don't have that.

For the past 18 years I have tried to live in control of my life and my circumstances, what if I decided to just release all of my goals, dreams, aspirations, desires, decrees, wants, needs, pleadings, schedules and plans to his mighty hands? I"m just wondering what my year will look like with him as God and me as Dona...................

Invite a wierdo to Church!

2010-12-15T12:49:00.000-08:00

It's Christmas time, so the best gift we can give is "Jesus". So today I encourage all you Barnabas' in the world to invite a wierd, annoying, egotistical, jittery, atheist, self centered, rude, stand offish, and quirky person to Church with you.

Don't be alarmed if your the one who gets invited to someone's church, everyone you know doesn't read this blog. And chances are they want to show off the band.

Real Love

2010-12-14T10:39:00.000-08:00

After Hearing a story from a sister in Christ who's life has been a fight to overcome divorce, cancer, rape, molestation, disability, etc.....she's never felt Gods love. After much thought and deep desires to be loved myself-here's what I came up with for those of us who struggle with real love:

Your love, O LORD, reaches to the heavens, your faithfulness to the skies (Psalm 36:5).

How priceless is your unfailing love! Both high and low among men find refuge in the shadow of your wings (Psalm 36:7).

Within your temple, O God, we meditate on your unfailing love (Psalm 48:9).

But I am like an olive tree flourishing in the house of God; I trust in God's unfailing love for ever and ever (Psalm 52:8).

But you, O Lord, are a compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness (Psalm 86:15).

Give thanks to the God of heaven. His love endures forever (Psalm 136:26).

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future" (Jeremiah 29:11).

The LORD appeared to us in the past, saying: "I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with loving-kindness" (Jeremiah 31:3).

The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing" (Zephaniah 3:17).

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life (John 3:16).

Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends John 15:13).

As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love (John 15:9).

Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? As it is written: "For your sake we face death all day long; we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered." No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord (Romans 8:35-39).

But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions--it is by grace you have been saved (Ephesians 2:4-5).

Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God (Ephesians 5:2).

But when the kindness and love of God our Savior appeared, he saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy. He saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit (Titus 3:4-5).

This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins (1 John 4:9-10).

In a season that has turned Christmas into a mere "Holiday", receive the true meaning of what Christmas is about. Gods ultimate love for us sinners and our little sinnerlings.

Fix it or remix it

2010-12-06T12:50:00.000-08:00

As wives and mothers when a problem arises on the homefront, we immediately try and fix it. Sometimes not even realizing that it's a "God only issue", we keep at it until we realize we've made it worst than it already was. Mama bears across the nation reading this will either be able to relate and readjust or keep at it and completely remix a mess of your life.

After sharing with my sisters in Christ some deep issues of forgiveness I needed help with, I received this back from a beautiful vessel named Lauren.

"For years I have been saying the "Serenity Prayer" and I really didn't understand it until my mentor (Georgia) explained it to me: Her explanation is in parenthesis:God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change (which is you)
The courage to change the things I can (which is me)
And the wisdom to know the difference. Amen. You are so precious Dona. Your transparency and personal love for the Lord are shining examples to the people around you of what a godly woman is -- she is a woman who pursues God. He is the filler of every empty hole, the mender of every broken down wall. He is the one who walked on water and calmed the storm. He is able to fill your empty places and calm your raging storms. Your continued trust in Him ensures that you will have the power to get through this time.

Completely in awe, of how God used these eloquent yet so penetrating words to transform my night. I was ready to go to bed defeated and pitiful when this came through my email. Ha! Take that satan! When your mind goes into fight or flight mode, remind yourself of this powerful little paragraph-pursuing God changes me not the problem, but the more I let him handle my life the richer the reward-the sweeter the grace. God can and God will!

Dona and Goliath

2010-12-03T11:57:00.000-08:00

There is love in war! I am in the midst of heavy warfare, clearly able to lay down in defeat- I decided to pray this over all of my Goliath's "And everyone assembled here will know that the Lord rescues his people, but not with sword and spear. This is the Lord’s battle, and he will give you to us!” 1 Samuel 17:47 I don't know what your Goliath is today but I admonish you to let the Lord fight your battle. You will tire quickly, discourage easily, and waiver unexpectedly-God won't!

If your standing in front of the red sea today continue to pray this prayer over your life as Moses Did when he led the Israelites across the red sea "“Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the LORD will bring you today. The Egyptians you see today you will never see again. 14 The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still." Exodus 14:13

Declaration of Independence

2010-11-29T14:53:00.000-08:00

Last year I wrote on this Independence movement. I wrote on how were supposed to be enthusiastic about making moves, keeping busy, and completing many good works. I merely scratched the surface of the deception of being Independent. Yes, I will be the first to brag about being able to do things on my own, capable of holding down the fort, or completing an extraordinary task. Yes I will be the first but not the last to toot my own horn on all the great things I've done. But this morning I sat in my prayer closet completely dismayed at myself.

Apart from God-I'm useless. And the moment I think otherwise-the devil's got me. The moment I start to take charge, move on my own accord, or charge ahead-I'm far away from where I really want to be. The world tells me that I should be at a job I hate, busy doing fruitless things, or meeting with people who want to suck the life out of me. Focusing on my own possibilities, capabilities, and what ifs puts me in a place-that says depending on God is pointless-go get it yourself. Get it done your way. Independence says I'm focused on me and what I can do and not on God.

There are times when I try and wrestle with God on who gets the driver seat, and it's not until my life is in utter chaos that I release the wheel. However, when I step back let go of what I truly think I need, I find that him being the captain of my ship- makes a peaceful sail. It's hard to give up control and be dependent on anyone, but I have learned that if God is the center of my dependency and the focus of my eyesight- then there is no compromising, questioning, or sidetracking-his way is the best way.

Trusting God is hard when you can't see which way he's headed in, but, today I choose to lay down my Independence my right to myself- for something I believe will bring peace, Love, joy, forgiveness, and redemption-for his Glory and my Good.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, Lean not unto your own understanding, and in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will direct your path. Proverbs 3:5-6

15 things that I am thankful for

2010-11-23T23:23:00.000-08:00

1. I am thankful that Jesus Christ died on the cross for my sins.............the flogging was really meant for me.

2. I am thankful that God speaks to me.

3. I am thankful that God doesn't let me wallow in my sins.

4. I am thankful that my husband and children are alive and well.

5. I am thankful for food to eat and the food in the trash can.

6. I am thankful for running water; something we take for granted when half the world lives without it.

7. I am thankful for legs to walk with.

8. I am thankful for Christian friends, who pray for me and my family.

9. I am thankful that I can understand the Bible now.

10. I am thankful for parents who were gracious and forgiving when I did things behind their backs.

11. I am thankful that I can eat with my mouth and not a feeding tube.

12. I am thankful that the sun came out today in the midst of a rain storm.

13. I am thankful that my husband has a job.

14. I am thankful for a family who loves me and has my back.

15. I am thankful in knowing that God really loves me no matter what!

The Game Changer

2010-11-22T23:44:00.000-08:00

Today I experienced ground breaking, stronghold shattering, truth unfolding, mega-mind, mega-ministry, mega-movement in one phone call. A dear friend of mine "Big Mack" I will call her, who happens to be married to another NBA player rounded up a group of our NBA wifey peers to do something powerful-pray. Courageously she gathered us all together from different states, teams, time zones, dinner times, quiet times, and of course game times.

In her sense of urgency, her spirit has had enough with the disrespect of athletic families. Highly offended at a segment on T.V. that was making a mockery of an athletes failed marriage, she had had enough and decided to fight back. No she didn't round up facebook fans, or rally at the PTA, or stand outside the arena fuming; she went hard in the paint-she gathered a prayer circle of spirit filled women who love the Lord and their husbands-ha!

Barely able to dial fast enough, I felt the presence of God all over the conference call and all over her voice. Her prayer was profound. It was a prayer that I believe broke a foothold and released some awesome power into an atmosphere that's dark and cold. She opened up a space where God is generally asked to wait at will call. She went there and took some Wifeys with her. I am so proud to say I know a radical for her faith and her family.

Twitter has nothing on this! NBA wives praying for the men, the league, the arenas, and of course the temptations.........whew! The devil is angry-I'm nostalgic just thinking of the defeat. This is just the beginning of a new dawn, a remnant of real wives are standing up for their God and their families. While everyone thinks were at home counting Loubitins and wiping off purses..............there are some of us who are standing on one accord and trusting the Most high God! With one prayer she just changed the game!

Where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I in the midst. Matthew 18:20

Lay it down

2010-11-08T13:07:00.000-08:00

Some of us are carrying around our past mistakes, failures, fears, burdens, and heartbreaks. We lug them around like heavy rocks in our purses or brief cases. We forget to take them out on a daily basis in our prayer time, so we end up feeling weighed down and exhausted. On my morning walk I discovered these rocks on the ground neatly lined up and in the dirt where they belong. I could have picked one up, kicked it around, or lingered around dwelling on these rocks, but I chose not to. Instead I told God in a sweet heart felt prayer that I wanted those rocks to be like my past sins; left on the side of the road and forgotten. I pray today that you know that God does not remember or hold us to our past sins, in fact he says they are off in a sea of forgetfulness. Confess your sins to God, turn from then, and receive the powerful gift of forgiveness. Receive that today in your spirit if you have been carrying around your past mistakes, habits, or hang-ups.

"As far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us." Psalm 103:12

Do you hear what I hear?

2010-11-01T09:57:00.000-07:00

There are times when I have one on one conversations with God. Yes I can hear him, not like a T.V. blaring or a child screaming in my ear. It's a still quiet voice deep within my heart or mind. Now I have had those loud "No" when I knew it was really God. I am priviledged to say that I now have a relationship with God where I ask him for everything. I can't make any moves without his counsel whether it's school, groceries, or a trip-I have to make sure it's okay with God.

If I do things on my own and for myself I usually end up blowing it or making stupid costly mistakes. I wish I would have followed him all the days of my life so I could have avoided some pretty painful things in life. I no Christians who can not hear God or determine his voice over their own conscience or the enemy's. If you can't hear the voice of God it may be that you have a sin in the way, your life is too busy or noisy, or your not praying as much as you could.

And sometimes he's just quiet. Sometimes he sits back and waits on the right time to speak. He wouldn't be a loving Father if he didn't give us a great silent treatment-right? Everyone around you won't seek the counsel of God or his wisdom. In fact many successful people have made some great decisions in life without hearing Gods voice. Some can get through life on their own accord and trusting in their self. I can't! I believe that any great reward or success in life was given by God whether we sought it out or not.

I can't trust myself because my emotions might trick me. My sin might get in the way and my motives may be questionable-that is why I have to wait on God and his direction. Don't get me wrong, my life is not centered around the warm fuzzy voice or the thought of it because the devil can exploit that. My life is centered around the prayer life or one on one time with him that manifest true intimacy and a love relationship that we both deeply desire. Hearing Gods voice means you are in relationship and you live your life like everything depends on him only. Gods will Gods way Gods time.

“He who is of God hears God's words;” (John 8:47)

A new creature

2010-11-01T09:32:00.000-07:00

Last night, I had a huge bout with depressive thoughts. The on set may have come from guilt, anxiety, loneliness, tiredness, or shame. Sitting in a chair watching T.V. with my girls I just felt this huge wave of mixed emotions sweep over me. All my mistakes, failures, and set backs came rushing over my heart like a tidal wave. Weeping bitterly my heart was in pain. I felt sad.

I'm changing, growing, and moving forward. The devil hates that. He comes to kill, still, and destroy John 10:10 so it shouldn't alarm any believer when you feel like your on a mountain top and then something just kicks you into a valley. Why God? Why do I feel so heavy and sorrowful? Why do I feel guilty for the past or what others are doing? Today was a great day and I"m sitting here frazzled for no reason-why? Asking why-I got met with this answer "Am I the God who brings condemnation"? "No" I replied.

Meditating on my relationship with God, I realized my growth has the enemy on his heels. He doesn't want the new creature to walk in her purpose. He wants me to be shackled and chained to my past, darkness, and gloom. He wants me to live in regret, fear of failure, fear of rejection, and fear of my past sins being exposed.

Joy comes in the morning! Why should I sit around waiting for those around me to change? Why should I wallow in my past when it's gone and done? Why shouldn't I mourn and grieve my sins? And why shouldn't I be sad if God is doing a new thing in me that others are uncomfortable with?

I am sad because some of those closest to me are still doing some of the same things they were a year a go. They know the same God I do and have had some deep encounters with Jesus love-but their still the same. Their uncomfortable with my walk so they try and distract me with accusations and irrelevant Jedi mind tricks, common tactics of the enemy when God's anointing is on your life.

I am a sinner, who continuously sins-but I"m not a slave to sin and I'm not held captive to my past. In fact, the devil is mad because I'm being freed from my past as we speak, so last night was an attack to set me back. But thanks be to God who reminded me of this "The old nature has gone, and I am a new creature in Christ" 2Cor. 5:17. I don't have to regret my regrets or be ashamed of my sin, God can use it for my good and for his glory. Anyone who is having a bout with heaviness reassure yourself this day that "God brought them out of darkness and the deepest gloom and broke their chains. Let them give thanks to the Lord for his unfailing Love. Psalm 107:14-15

The Campaign Manager

2010-10-25T22:38:00.000-07:00

Today I spoke with my tired and overwhelmed girlfriend. Her husband is running for office and so things have been quite hectic in their home. His schedule is hectic so it's hard for him in to pitch with their boys or to be counted on for household duties. Church attendance has slipped, calls left unanswered, to do list untouched, bills forgotten about, and of course emotional needs not being met.

Afraid of loosing or being rejected by those who have to vote for my friends husband; he has taken on abnormal behavior and excessive amounts of self indulgence and self centered behaviors. At first glance it looks like arrogance, pride, and selfishness. But once we dissected the situation we pulled back a few layers of insecurity, fear, doubt, shame, and fear of rejection and inadequacy.

Ready to raise the roof on him, she took one step back and realized that although he already has a campaign manager. He desperately needed that of another. He needs his wife to be his spiritual campaign manager. Everyone is campaigning for something whether it's freedom, office position, a raise, a husband, a new car, or a smaller waist. Were all campaigning for God to show up in our lives. What we as wives fail to realize sometimes is that our husbands need us to be their spiritual campaign managers.

Let me explain this. My husband can wear me down at times when I feel like he's not on board with the household or his schedule gets to hectic for us. So what do I do like any good wife "I complain". Its taken 12 long years for me to realize that I don't have to complain, I need to campaign. People hate Barak Obama but they praised his campaign manager. Same thing with Sarah Palin. Not because they were great people on the inside, but because of the support and hard work they put into the campaigns. What would our homes look like if we stopped complaining and started campaigning?

The devil tries to drive wedges in between our relationships with things we should be rallying for. Don't get me wrong-if your mate or child is out of bounds then the campaign trail might have to make another turn. But if the devil is pulling the same old tactics and snares as the last time-then it's time to revamp your campaign and the manager (i.e God and your prayer life).

The world will whoop us all down with misleading information and false senses of security. Our husbands, children, family members, friends, goals, and ministries need some strong spirit filled campaign managers. What does that look like you ask? It's praying first before you can get to the phone-even if it's a quick flash prayer-do it first. It means asking God what he thinks about the situation and then 100% trusting his answer and outcomes-no matter how long its taking. It means turning the other cheek when the first one is red hot or sizzling because someone you love just threw your trust or love into your face. it means going the distance and having someone's back even though they don't deserve it.

I'm choosing today to campaign for my marriage, my children's education and wellbeing, for my education, for spiritual health, for the unbelievers who don't know Jesus, and for the great purpose God has for my life. Tommorrow may want me to complain and focus on me, but today I'm campaigning for Gods glory and his will in the lives of those around me. We live in some crazy times and it's time for us to start going hard for what we believe in, and that's for all to know and feel the Love of Jesus Christ.

"Do to others as you would have them do to you" Luke 6:31

He Loves the "hell" out of me

2010-10-04T10:29:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I get so frustrated with some of my loved ones, because they live in denial or dodge the pain of past mistakes like a round ball at recess. Before I sought God in a different way or learned more about his true character, I was always living in this "I'm right" and "Your wrong" mentality. Because I didn't cheat, lie, steal, or murder I figured I was now on Gods honor roll-right? My self righteous candor had me full of my self made religion that only I was being fooled by.

As I pursue a deeper more intimate relationship with God, I realized two things: I need Jesus and I'm a true sinner. Everyday I hide behind prayer, church attendance, and bible study thinking I'm going to be in the green beret or color guard for heaven. HA! How easily I was mistaken-my sins were deep within. My sins are settled in a hidden reservoir in my spirit. My heart pumps rage, anger, unforgiveness, wrath, and vengeance. And God knew it. He loves me so much that he is starting to let me see me for who I really am. I could shout for joy just thinking how privileged I am that God loves me so much that he won't allow that sin to destroy me.

Oswald Chambers says it like this "Learn to thank God for making His demands known. Our little “I am” always sulks and pouts when God says do. Let your little “I am” be shriveled up in God’s wrath and indignation–”I AM WHO I AM . . . has sent me to you” (Exodus 3:14). He must dominate. Isn’t it piercing to realize that God not only knows where we live, but also knows the gutters into which we crawl! He will hunt us down as fast as a flash of lightning. No human being knows human beings as God does."

Sounds harsh to some but in the spiritual realm it's an awesome wonder when we allow God to love the "hell" out of us. I don't know about you but I can't be stuck in a pit of ignorance thinking I've arrived when really I haven't even left the starting point.

Denying Jesus

2010-09-24T12:27:00.000-07:00

Simon, Simon, behold, Satan has demanded permission to sift you like wheat; but I have prayed for you, that your faith may not fail; and you, when once you have turned again, strengthen your brothers." But he said to Him, "Lord, with You I am ready to go both to prison and to death!" And He said, "I say to you, Peter, the rooster will not crow today until you have denied three times that you know Me." Luke 22:31-34 After reading this, I thought, "Oh that's nice-I"m the new Peter" I denied Jesus three time before the rooster crowed.

Let me explain one thing, we call my 1 year old the rooster, because she's up at the crack of dawn every morning crowing for us all. She is our built in alarm system. It's precious to wake up her to calling me, my husband, or my 9 year olds names. Unless your dog tired, foaming at the mouth, eyes tightly shut together, muscles ready to go spastic, and your skin is super glued to the sheets. You want the rooster to stop roosting!

After reading this I realized that I had denied (acted like I didn't know Jesus) three times before the rooster in my house crowed. Yes, I snapped on my husband, begrudgingly had prayer and quiet time, and snapped on my 6 year old for not wanting to wear the Mr.T shirt knock off shirt I made with the ripped off sleeves. Huh? My spirit was so haughty!

Like Peter I would balk at that notion of denying Jesus or the power there of-yeah right I'm practically teachers pet? But just like Peter, so blatantly and willingly I denied the Christ in me. Are you relating to this yet? Without even knowing it-we can say or do things that will instantly deny him............hard to swallow right? It took this one passage to make me realize that sin in my life.

But keep reading, Jesus goes on to say that after the devil tries his way with you (to ruin your Faith) return back to me and help your brethren. We blew it already but God can still use our errors, mistakes, and plunder-yes be encouraged as I am-we are still useful to Gods kingdom and his purpose. One bad day doesn't mean were on the sidelines folding towels-it means we have to go back over the playbook (the bible), repent, ask for forgiveness, and prepare for the next play.

Don't let the devil trick you out of your faith or your usefulness just because you acted like a sucka; it's too early in the game to give up now God still wants to use us to help our brethren and sistren. Thank God Jesus is the business of giving second chances.

But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. 2 Corinthians 4:7

Train up a Child

2010-09-22T09:47:00.001-07:00

OMG! That's all I kept thinking as I walked my morning walk around the high school around the corner from my house. I was quite taken back at the sight of the teenagers in my neighborhood. And the sad thing is, someone dropped them off or saw them leave the house. Moms/Wifey's I'm calling us out today. Our girls are in need of some SOS!

As I power walked to fight my belly bulge, I couldn't help but to notice a few things on the short trail infront of the high school by my house, the school my 14 year old nephew goes to as well. The first thing I noticed was a small petite framed mini mouse look alike in a Kim K maroon spandex dress; yes it looked like someone had mummy wrapped this young girl in thick spandex ribbons. She tried to dress it down with a bulky back pack, but the stare in my eyes told her she was still out of bounds.

Next, I was cut off by three girls who were dressed appropriately for their age, however, they left their manners at the breakfast nook. They were not going to scoot out of the way for the elder coming toward them, they clearly wanted the whole sidewalk to themselves. The next group were two freshmen boys who looked rough around the edges-they scooted out the way! I knew they would deep down.

The third girl, I saw had on enough make up to do a photo shoot for Elle magazine, she looked older than I did, and she smelled like cigarettes. Really? This affluent suburb of Sacramento made me blush in a matter of minutes. I won't address the epidemic of daisy dukes and cut off shorts that are soliciting thighs, hips, and but cheeks to our boys and Men; I'm gonna leave that alone-yall can do the math!

Saddened and mortified-I"m convinced I have to lead by example. My girls are Kings kids so they will never look ragedy or shabby. However, I will not sacrifice the purity of their innocent bodies for popularity, fashion, or fitting in rights. I won't do it! And believe me I'm just like the next Mom-I want my girls to look their best and feel the best but I won't do it at the expense of giving satan a foothold. I have to do right by my girls even if it means I"m not the coolest Mom ever!

I've been given a charge over their lives and I only get one shot at it, so I'm going to try and do my best to make sure I don't surrender my kids or their integrity for the sake of cool points. Raising G-rated kids in an X-rated world is difficult, but I'm ready to see the remnant stand up! We can be trendy and righteous at the same time-right? It's hard to dress them in a godly way when the retailers are giving in to adult trends. I'm a Mom of 4 girls and I'm concerned-so if offend you I apologize but I had to get this off my chest.

Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it. Proverbs 22:6

2003 Clubwagon

2010-09-21T17:09:00.000-07:00

I have the wonderful job of being team mom to great group of young men ages 15 and under. When I was first asked to be team mom I was hesistant because I thought it was going to be overwhelming, draining, and time consuming. I was very reluctant because I didn't want to fail the team or the head coach(my husband) being consumed with my own priorities in the home (i.e. small chidren), scared of me getting in the way of the teams success-I signed on anyway.

Being team Mom has been challenging yet so gratifying in the same breath. I get to pray with them, laugh with them, share in their loss, share in their victory, and watch them develop into the men God created them to be. I sit back at times as laugh as I think of how often the enemy will try and keep us from being a blessing in someones life. He will trick us into thinking that were not capable or have the means to be a blessing in someone else's life.

Our friends Deena and Johannes who live in D.C. took one visit to a tournament in Vegas and saw how important it is for us to see these kids get ahead, to achieve their dreams in basketball so they donated us a 2003 clubwagon to get our boys around. Yes! We no longer have to drain our pockets renting these 12 passenger vans transporting kids up and down the west coast for tournaments, and when I pull into my driveway and see that Van sitting there I"m reminded of what Joel Osteen says "Sometimes our dreams come true just by helping someone else make their dream come true". It is an honor to see, receive, and pour back out any blessing that God bestows on me and my family.

Life is hard for everyone, no one is living in pleasantville 24/7. So when we go out of our way to help someone else I believe God honors that. And it doesn't have to come in the form of a Van, it can come in any way, shape, or form God chooses. Some days I want to keep my time, my talent, my resource, and spiritual gifts to myself but then I have to ask myself-"How does that honor God if he's been so good to me"?

If God has been great to me, I like to return the favor. It comes in different ways on many different occasions; like offering my couches for bible study or helping a Mom push her cart at the grocery store. It doesn't have to come in superficial ways that make me look like a hero but it should always come in ways that God is apparent, God is glorified, and God gets all the credit.

From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked Luke 12:48

Shame on You!

2010-09-13T10:52:00.000-07:00

Shame on you! Now that's a crying shame! What a shame! I could go on and on with all the shame cliche's but I won't-were already full of shame. After starting the first two chapters in Craig Groeschel's book "The Christian Atheist", I'm convinced many Christians including myself are living with immense amounts of shame and guilt. And that guilt and shame is affecting how we really view God and interact with him and others.

When I think about some of the things I did as a teenager and in my twenties, I'm overwhelmed with heavines, regret, remorse, and shame. I almost wish people wouldn't find about those things because maybe they will judge or criticize me even more then they already have. I said things, I wished I could take back-but could not......they were released into the atmosphere and already releasing a lethal injection into someones spirit. I realized this week, that I'm still harboring things from years ago.......why is that? If I spend time with God everyday, read the word, participate in Bible studies and so on, why do I feel guilty?

The enemy brings guilt and shame, God brings conviction. Shame will keep me afraid to release the past, have others discover I blew it, and keep me paralyzed from changing my future. On the flip side, conviction will make me godly sorrowful to the point where I can't stand to see myself repeat the same habits and offenses. We tend to categorize our sins like misdemeanor, felonies, mansloughter, or murder (with the tongue that is). God does not.

I'm sifting my way through this area in my carefully, not hardly to the top of it yet......but there's something huge on the outside of the shameful pit-freedom. When we go through the process of releasing our mistakes, habits, or hang ups to God I believe we change the look of our future. I don't want to hang on to my twenties in my thirties and I don't want to take my thirties in to my forties. It's time for me to just fall on my knees, tug on the cross, admit I'm a big fat sinner, and then jump up and praise God for a savior who loved me enough to take those sins away. I don't know about you but the devil isn't going to keep me chained to my past-it's time to move forward.

Everyone has a past and we can't change the game in the 9th inning but we can call another play. I've decided through blood, sweat, and tears I'm going to roll up my sleeves and pursue my journey to wholeness. I can't allow anymore joy to be robbed and no more hiding. I'm going to dump all the mistakes and failures while I'm on this road to recovery with great excitement so I can remind the enemy that "HE HAS NOTHING ON ME"!

Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me. Then I will teach transgressors your ways, and sinners will turn back to you. Psalm 51:10-13

The relationship has to be on point!

2010-08-30T17:27:00.000-07:00

We've all read the story of Sarah and Hagar, right? The very chilling story of how a single mother depended on God to lead and direct her.......are you there yet? Well in Genesis 16 there is a story that rings very near to my heart. Before you start judging me, it's not because I have had children with my slave masters husband-but because I know the heart of being a Mother with babies out of wedlock.

My husband and I had our first two children out of wedlock, the last baby was in wedlock. However, there are times when I'm haunted by my sin and deeply regret anything that doesn't match up with the will of God. This morning I felt redeemed, hopeful, happy, content, accomplished, blessed, secure, and trusting. When I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing, serving, loving, obeying, and trusting I feel joy. Just like Hagar probably felt while she was serving Sarah everyday. She probably felt very accomplished and satisfied with herself until sin entered the picture.

At the snap of a finger, we can be doing great things for our purpose and for God; and then sin enters and ruins the show. Hagar fled because her Mistress(Master) Sarah was mistreating her after she obeyed Sarah's command to give Abram (Sarah's husband) a child. Isn't that how sin works, it's pleasurable and makes sense in the beginning and then it turns on you like an informant for the FBI. Oh yes, sin doesn't play fair.

Like Hagar, after I've done all that I think is right and fulfill many good works in my eyes-I'm still left to wonder what I may have done wrong-even on a good day. An angel of the Lord appeared to Hagar and told her to go back to Sarah-mistreatment and all "Go back to your Mistress and submit to her" Genesis 16:9. Hagar was given a promise that if she obeyed the command her seed would be blessed and God would see her.

As I take a deep gulp over this bitter sweet instruction, one thing stands out.........Hagar must have had a deep relationship with God. In order for her to hear from him in her darkest hour and then have a heart to listen and obey-the relationship had to be on point. Have a baby out of wedlock and the go back to be mistreated? Oh no he didn't! God must have had some pretty special plans. Because my common sense would have cancelled out Faith-right? Wrong if your relationship with Jesus is where it needs to be. Pain, sin, heartbreak, disappointment, rejection, abandonment, and insecurity can be purified when you have an intimate relationship with Christ.

I asked God today what that looked like to him and he responded with "Be excited" to spend time with me. The same way we are excited to spend time with our husbands, it should be double that amount for God. Obedience, sacrifice, service, and good works mean nothing without Faith and a relationship. On our best day in our best efforts if we have not spent time with our Lord, it will empty or weightless. That deep relationship has to come first and that's where I believe the blessing and reward will come, in knowing that we are excited to be with Jesus. Only what we do for him, with him, and because of him will matter.

All you who Labor

2010-08-20T12:41:00.000-07:00

This week I didn't feel like wiping another nose, changing another diaper, tying, another bow, patting another back, kissing another cheek, reading another scripture, driving another mile, answering another email, cracking another smile; I just did'nt feel up to anything positive or productive. I wanted to lay in the bed and pull the covers over my head. Am I the only one who felt like putting up a "do not disturb" sign on their bedroom door??? Probably not!

Discouragement tried to choke the joy out of my spirit like the wind out of a sail. I could feel the woes of life nestling on my shoulders like baby birds in the nest outside my bedroom window. It was rough, I was heavy. My feet weren't steady, in fact they were dragging and rough-there was no traction. I was ready to slip. My vision was blurred and my eyes were sifting through a thick San Francisco fog.............zero visibility.

And just like that, my Savior my redeemer swept through my prayer closet like the Feds in a drug raid.......a beautiful but hostile takeover. It was all there, not one penny short-the ransom was paid and the devil had to release me and flee. "For the realm of Jehoshaphat was quiet, for his God gave him rest all around". 2Chronicles 20:30

Intercessors starting interceding and here I am back at the place, the devil hates to see me-giving God all the glory and praise- because is he so worthy. Where would I be without the unmerited favor, mercy, and grace of God? Oh yeah-probably laying in the bed pleading "woe is me". When God is your everything, you can't stay in the funk, you can't stay heavy or pitiful. He will pull the shade back and let the sunshine scald your eyes with splendor. I am so grateful for a God who loves me enough to make sure that even on a bad week, I will get rest.

Remember this old hymnal......I love the Lord, he heard my cry and pitied every groan, that's why I'll hasten to his throne.....Bent over the water cooler and stuck on the sidelines, I've gotta get back in the game-victory is ours!

"Come to me all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light". Matthew 11:28-30

Rest in Peace Lorenzen Wright

2010-07-28T23:05:00.000-07:00

Tonight my family is saddened by the tragic death of my husbands former teammate Lorenzen Wright. The father of seven to my old chum and previous prayer partner Sherra Wrights children. Tonight I ask everyone viewing this to lift their family up in bold prayers-they will need it.

I am also petitioning every wife or girlfriend who has a husband or boyfriend safely at home to pray over them and thank God for their safe keeping. We take life for granted, choose today to love your loved ones as if God might call them home before were ready.

Smoke and Mirrors

2010-07-27T20:42:00.001-07:00

After almost two weeks in Las Vegas, I'm convinced that it's not the only place you will find magic tricks, temptations of all sorts, deception, greed, and false interpretations. And after a long run in sin city it wasn't vegas that left me dehydrated, teary eyed, gasping for air, hair standing on the back of my neck, nail beds ripped off, and swinging in the air; it was our family created "Golden Seal" that was broken and caused our emotional volcano to erupt. While I was so busy tightening up my gloves so I could go round for round with sin city, I was with hit a 1-2 combo, low kidney blow, and a heavy upper cut I didn't see coming.

I don't care who you are or what family you were born in, everyone has something or someone they have been disillusioned by. We build illusions of people, places, and things and when we find out that it's all smoke and mirrors were devastated. And when that perception or idea of someone is ruined or tarnished we become angry, cynical, and bitter. I'm struggling this week, I was let down on two different occassions by someone I considered "Golden". When I realized that like a magic show in vegas this person was all smoke and mirrors-I was crushed. It brought back old feelings of disgust, anger, resentment, and unforgiveness. I struggled to move past my critical spirit and harsh judgement.

I woke up to a funk of misconceptions and funky emotions. And then the beautiful words of Oswald Chambers fell into my lap for such a time as this.

Oswald Chambers says it like this:

"Refusing to be disillusioned is the cause of much of the suffering of human life. And this is how that suffering happens— if we love someone, but do not love God, we demand total perfection and righteousness from that person, and when we do not get it we become cruel and vindictive; yet we are demanding of a human being something which he or she cannot possibly give. There is only one Being who can completely satisfy to the absolute depth of the hurting human heart, and that is the Lord Jesus Christ. Our Lord is so obviously uncompromising with regard to every human relationship because He knows that every relationship that is not based on faithfulness to Himself will end in disaster. Our Lord trusted no one, and never placed His faith in people, yet He was never suspicious or bitter. Our Lord’s confidence in God, and in what God’s grace could do for anyone, was so perfect that He never despaired, never giving up hope for any person. If our trust is placed in human beings, we will end up despairing of everyone."

If your feelings or ideas of someone were crushed today or in the past, I encourage us all to find the beauty, majesty, and splendor of God. When we put our complete trust in him and the perfection of his son Jesus Christ we will understand that all of us even on a good day are still like filthy rags. Our total trust has to be in the only one who can be completely trust worthy-Jesus. If Jesus didn't put all his trust in man, why should we. Let's not forget that we humans are clothed in the highest quality sinning flesh, we will let one another down and not understand what just happened. But if our confidence is 100% in Jesus Christ then we will be prepared when we discover that the ones we love are capable of anything.

But Jesus would not entrust himself to them, for he knew all men. He did not need man's testimony about man, for he knew what was in a man. John 2:24-25

Hey Self

2010-07-15T00:09:00.000-07:00

I'm sitting here with a question for myself "What would my life look like if I prayed as much as I talk on the phone"?

Jesus vs. Bobby

2010-07-12T13:46:00.000-07:00

As I sit in the a beautiful suite over looking the Las Vegas strip, I'm instantly drawn to how and why. Being in sin city has given me a heightened sense and urgent need to be close to God. Now before I start sounding a churchafied hypocrite-let me share something I enjoy doing and saying in order to meet my own needs or maintain a certain standard of living. For the past 12 years saying my husbands name "Bobby" or referring to myself has his better half has rewarded me and others some pretty nice luxuries like beautiful suites, concert tickets, private jet rides, clothing, retail discounts, tables in crowded restaurants, private school spaces, trips, beautiful gifts, hard to get invites.......the list could go on. As a wife of a player those are basic givens. No wife reading this would look at that and go "Wow" she just gets it.

My husbands name carries some weight in some circles and cities. And just when I think I'm about to miss a flight-the name shows up. However, with that same name of reward and luxury can come pain, drama, issues, complaints, anger, fury, and many other things that the finer things in life can bring if your not careful. When I'm in Djax mode I can easily get caught up in the name and the identity there of. As a wife but child of the most high God I have to be so careful who I place as my #1. No name should ever come before the name of Jesus in my life. And when my husbands name is my identity or my refuge-here comes the painful transformation.

As I sit reading my study by Jennifer Kennedy Dean she points me to a name that carries weight, power, authority, and complete control. The name of Jesus is the name I'm learning to use in every circle, square, corner, and crevice. When I use that name I receive all the above in the natural material realm as well as the great reward in the spiritual realm. Jennifer says it like this "Heaven acts when Gods people speak the name". Through the name of Jesus we have direct access to God-no side stepping or extra work-Just Jesus! The name of Jesus is greater and more powerful than any of our favorite athletes name can ever have..............really.

I love the fact that my husband and his hard work ethic and notoriety has blessed me tremendously but the Bible says there is none like Jesus. When I call on the name of Jesus in drama-there is peace. When I call on the name of Jesus when I'm hurting-there is comfort. When I call on the name of Jesus when my babies are sick-there is healing. When I call on the name of Jesus when I blew it-there is redemption. No other name I know as a wife and a mother that can come to my immediate rescue or aid. There's nothing more gratifying when your tired of smiling than crying out "Jesus". When your laying on the floor of your closet crying your eyes out screaming for "Bobby" does nothing, but when I say the name "Jesus" with humility and a deep thirst-there is a shift in the circumstance.

Our prayers can be so simple-yet so powerful when we add "in the name of Jesus". Praying in his name may not bring the worldly material desires of your heart, but I can guarantee it will bring the peace and joy your heart desires. There is a deeper level with Jesus that I believe we are craving and just don't know it. We seek something more and can't put our finger on it. We look at the Internet and blogs but still haven't figured out that its just one name that can sum up this crazy thing called life..........JESUS.

"God exalted him to the highest place and gave him the name that is above every name, that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the Glory of the God the Father" Phillipians 2:9-11

Amen

2010-06-22T11:31:00.001-07:00

With deep confidence my kids might come to me and ask for something. About 80% of the time they are sure of the things I will say NO to, so at times they won't bother asking for those things. But without a doubt they will come and ask for what they believe I will say yes to. And every now and again my six year old will beg me for something. Usually her begging becomes bothersome and I will give in and give her her way.

God is not like me, we don't have to beg for what we want. Right now we are all standing in the kitchen like small children asking God for something. Not a Popsicle or a new bike, but something so deep that only he can give the answer. While studying Jennifer Kennedy Deans "Live a praying life" she says "Prayer becomes all that God promises it to be when the pray-er is living a praying life. Out of the life that is abandoned to God and his purposes flows the prayer that God has promised to answer".

After reading her study and reading the word, we are both convinced that a few simple things should take place when approaching God in prayer-take a look:

" I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer believe that you have received it, and it will be yours." Mark 11:24
-First We must establish that prayer with God is essential in life and he desires to meet our needs.

"You may ask anything in my name, and I will do it." John 14:14
-Jesus is our middle man to the father, we must use the power of his life on the cross to stand in the gap between us and
God.

"If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be given you." John 15:7
-There must be an intimate relationship between us and Jesus, he should be in our spirit and we living in his life.

"If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask in prayer". Matthew 21:22
-Faith and belief in the unseen is crucial. If you don't believe that he can-how can he? We must have a sense of assurance
and security that no matter how long it takes he will give us what he wants according to his will and perfect plan for our
lives. I believe in a God I can not see, even when it looks like he's ignoring me.

I have taken prayer for granted, I use prayer like a fairy's wand. As the Holy spirit leads me through this crazy journey called life, I intend to make prayer a lifestyle or an accessory I cloth myself in everyday. My days are longer and harder without it. I don't have to be an eloquent minister or bible scholar to reach out to God on a daily basis. My prayers don't have to ready for print or articulate-just intimate. And in my heart I believe he honors all prayers even if the only word he hears us pray is "Jesus". With my big brim hat, my white gloves on, and my tamboruine in hand I say "Amen" to Jennifer Kennedy Dean and her challenge to us all to live a praying life!

Delete

2010-06-21T12:12:00.000-07:00

Time to speak the truth, what you do with it is on you. Face book is a neat a little playground of quirky quotes, cute cuddly photos of peoples kids, 10-20 year reunions, and an inside look to people you don't have time to sit on the phone with. For years, I was anti-face book. It seemed trivial and sneaky, it appeared to be a place to find people you thought got away. I was Leary of a place that could put me in touch with my kindergarten crush and the teacher who's class I slept in. Weird and unattractive, I stayed away. My first thought was trouble.

Well after many pats on the back and shoves on the shoulder, I decided to get on and promote my blog. Why wouldn't I want a huge following and lots of traffic as I share my world and funny stories of how God is doing great things in my life. I needed face book to help move my kingdom work in the right direction. I needed more attention and more hype. So I joined the illustrious world of face book.

Captivated by the charm of pictures and statuses and peoples where abouts-I was addicted. I would find myself looking and laughing on face book instead of cooking dinner or bible study-yikes! I might even ignore a crying baby to post a comment on someones wall if I was really enthralled that day. And then after being on barely two months, the big "oh no you didn't" came. Calamity, jealousy, strife, may ham, deceit, deception, and all sorts of foolishness caught me off guard...................or did it?

The truth about Face book is the CEO Mark Zuckerberg-is under fire for exploiting the privacy and private information of users with companies like Pandora and Microsoft. He was sued by 3 classmates that claim that face book was actually a network called connect u-if these people are lying about the clever minded man why did he come up off of 65million dollars in profit shares. An employee of face book was quoted as saying "he doesn't believe in privacy". That explains why I deleted a hater and they were still able to send me messages to my inbox........so much for privacy and keeping haters out of my space! I could go on forever about the espionage facing the CEO and braniac creation. I stand to be corrected on my findings, so please do the research for yourself.

I have seen arguments between family members, Pastors under attack, marriages under fire, fist fights break out, etc over face book and no one is recognizing the thematic symptoms here. I have witnessed all this within the past 3 weeks-why is that? I'm not telling anyone to deactivate their account or delete people from their page, all I'm saying is if your going to open a window into the abyss of cyberspace-cover your self in the blood of Jesus. These are some really smart people who are creating mergers, sending out our personal information to companies, and doing things we as regular folks don't even understand.

Do the math and see how calamity and confusion is facing this network. I'm just speaking on something that if left unattended or improperly monitored can cause collateral damage. Face book can be fun and engaging but if the wrong people get in to your personal space there can be problems. Please pray about it and be super cautious and mindful about how you deal with the Internet because privacy has different meanings on the internet and everyone on face book doesn't have your best interest at heart even if they 'LIKE" your comments and photos of kids.

Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings. 1 Peter 5:8-10

I"ll Get ya Close!

2010-06-21T10:40:00.000-07:00

The day after Fathers day and I"m sitting here wondering did I really take the day seriously. My phone kept calling my Dads cell phone by accident. Clearly, thinking it was a glitch with my phone I ignored the mistakes. However today, I realize that God might have wanted me to say a little extra to my Dad. Yesterday, I decided to tease him and jokingly give him a hard time for letting my baby brother be the golden child. We laughed about all the things the only boy was able to do and accomplish versus us girls. The evidence of rottenness was overwhelming, my Dad laughed and we ended our fathers day call with a good laugh and a simple "I love you".

This morning, I woke up with the need to tell everyone about the Dad I had. Some of you have seen previous postings where I have said my Dad was Cliff Huxtables "curse you out and take you to the movies after" step brother. But the day after Fathers day-I realized that clearly it's not like Mothers day. So to all of you who don't know my Dad; allow me to introduce him to you and the impact he made on my life:

-My father never molested me or any of my siblings-this is something I don't take for granted.

-He never left my Mom to fin for herself or raise 5 kids on her own.

-He never let our house become a hang out or a place of comfort for boys who wanted to suck the life out of his girls. In fact he didn't let anyone kick their feet up and chi lax including us at times.

-He made sure we always had enough money for family outings and family fun even if it meant spending bill money.

-He never stopped my mother from taking us to Church on Sunday. Come to think of it-he enjoyed seeing us pile into the car so he could watch his football in peace, never the less he didn't stand in the way like some men do.

-Every time he verbally assassinated me, there was always a deep truth behind it that planted a good seed in me and a work ethic I just now realized I had.

-He made sure we had a nice roof over our head, food to eat, and nice clothes to wear-we saw to it that my mother could get us 2 pair of name brand jeans for the year. It wasn't the 10 pair we wanted but it was better than nothing.

-He would drop my twin sister and I off half a mile from our school and then rant "I'll get ya close". Highly irritated and annoyed by this as a teen we got over it. But now I'm proud to say in a loud boisterous bragging voice "MY DAD GOT ME CLOSE"!

And my all time favorite story that makes me want to cry is the story of him and my mother stealing a Christmas tree in their early twenties for my sisters and I. They didn't have a lot of money but they were determined to make sure we had what we needed to make us happy by any means necessary. My Dad made a lot of mistakes along the way, but as God transforms and leads his heart he is able to restore and redeem those mistakes through his love and support and quality time with his children and grandchildren. And for that I believe that God will honor all the days of his life.

With the single parent households at an all time high-I thank God today for my Dad and all the Dads who are willing to stick it out, steal the Christmas trees for their family, and get their kids close.
-

If it's in you.....it has to come out of you! Part 2

2010-06-05T22:51:00.001-07:00

Have you ever blown it so bad that no one wanted to have your back? Well I have! This past week was a constant mirage of me acting like a complete fool. I was so consumed with things that don't concern me that I invited spiritual warfare and strife into my home and strife brought friends. I openly invited attacks on my marriage and had the nerve to get angry when the devil drew down.

Through some crucial drama, some funny comments on face book, and a deep moment with my husband-I realized that the heat was up. I could feel the flames on my neck, they were trying to scorch my view and my vision-but to no avail the living water came rushing in and the smoke cleared. Even when I engage a battle that I don't have to fight-God is always there working on my behalf.

The war was brutal-thank God their were no casualties. But the wounds are barely bandaged. I take inventory and realize that In my struggle to do the right thing-I was not alone. My husband had my back. I can count on one hand the times my husband has supported my foolish "DJax" moments. But this week-I'm so proud of him-he didn't allow the tactics, ploys, schemes, lies, and fiery darts of the enemy to stop him from being my husband. He recognized the need to support his wife even when she had ignited a vicious cycle.

I sometimes believe that women have it the hardest because of all we have to put up with, but after this week I'm sleepy for all the men who had to put up with their own "DJax'". Hats off to all the men who got a lemon instead of a peach this week. God will honor your commitment to the covenant.

Sometimes in marriage, we have to let our spouse defend our honor. I believe it brings God great delight to see husbands protecting their wives even when they act like buffoons. It may not be every week or every month that I share a moment like this with my husband-but I believe God used that moment to show me, that no matter how bad I blow it-he always has my back. No one can separate that!

"What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder" Mark 10:9

If it's in you.....it has to come out of you!

2010-06-01T10:22:00.001-07:00

"Whatever is in you eventually has to come out of you" says Rev. Kevin Brown. At first glance, I thought your right-but I'm a good person so my yucky stuff is pretty much gone with the exception of a few curse words and missed bible studies. In my mind I have felt as though I wasn't that bad; I didn't hurt people, steal, lie, cheat, or forget God so I must be a pretty good candidate to represent Christ-right? Wrong! One trip to Reno and the curtain is back and what's still inside me had to come out.

So much yelling, cursing, judging, criticizing, self absorption, rudeness, anger, foolishness, calamity, strife, and resentment-and it all came from me not a group this past weekend. I got a glimpse of what I (us) look like without Jesus in complete control. My husband and I took our boys to Reno to play in a huge AAU tournament this holiday weekend. Well of course when things are going well the enemy can't sit still. A great weekend almost faced utter destruction because I tried to go on vacation and leave Jesus in my room. I can't take weekends off from spiritual growth-if I do someone who could slapped into Labor day and the roof could get raised. In the words of a good friend "Who does that"?

How many times do we trip ourselves up thinking that it's other peoples faults that were in a mess? We are quick to point the finger but rarely do we look in the mirror at our own reflection. If hate is in you-it will come out of you. If anger is in-it will come out of you. If jealousy is in you-it will come out of you. If strife is in you-it will come out of you. I found out the hard way that what is lying dormant in you or hidden some where deep and dark in your heart-will eventually have to come out. Even if you think your past it or worked it out. If there is any residue-it will have to purged. And if Jesus lives in you heart-then there can't be any shacking-good and evil don't mix.

God being the loving God that he is will not let us carry on like aliens too long-he will have to remove that which still lingers in our hearts. He desires to get it completely out so that it won't hinder our worship or obedience to him. If we still have some foolishness in our hearts it has to go in order for him to do his great work through us. He wants to purify our hearts so that he can one day use us to do his kingdom work.

The hand of the LORD was upon me, and he brought me out by the Spirit of the LORD and set me in the middle of a valley; it was full of bones. 2 He led me back and forth among them, and I saw a great many bones on the floor of the valley, bones that were very dry. 3 He asked me, "Son of man, can these bones live?" I said, "O Sovereign LORD, you alone know." Ezekiel 37:1-6
Can we change? Absolutely! When we recognize how grimey we are without God-that's when his power can manifest in our hearts to finish the good thing he started.

Oswald Chambers says it like this "“Behold, O My people, I will open your graves . . .” ( Ezekiel 37:12 ). When God wants to show you what human nature is like separated from Himself, He shows it to you in yourself. If the Spirit of God has ever given you a vision of what you are apart from the grace of God (and He will only do this when His Spirit is at work in you), then you know that in reality there is no criminal half as bad as you yourself could be without His grace. My “grave” has been opened by God and “I know that in me (that is, in my flesh) nothing good dwells” ( Romans 7:18 ). God’s Spirit continually reveals to His children what human nature is like apart from His grace."

It's our job as Gods children to realize daily that it's not just about more bible study, more prayer, or devotions-it's about letting Gods spirit do that which we can not do on our own-whoop the sheol (evil) out of us. We can not accomplish his great plans and purpose with the sin still lying in our hearts. It's not what everyone else is doing wrong that counts, it's what he sees me doing wrong that needs correction. He uses my ugly acting episodes to reveal what hasn't take place yet-complete transformation! I need Jesus minute by minute and without him-I might end up with a golf club in my hand and a high heel shoe in the other.

11 Then he said to me: "Son of man, these bones are the whole house of Israel. They say, 'Our bones are dried up and our hope is gone; we are cut off.' 12 Therefore prophesy and say to them: 'This is what the Sovereign LORD says: O my people, I am going to open your graves and bring you up from them; I will bring you back to the land of Israel. 13 Then you, my people, will know that I am the LORD, when I open your graves and bring you up from them. 14 I will put my Spirit in you and you will live, and I will settle you in your own land. Then you will know that I the LORD have spoken, and I have done it, declares the LORD.' " Eziekel 37:11-14

Buddha

2010-05-24T10:20:00.000-07:00

Saturday night I decided to pick up some chinese carry out for my family. Mama doesn't cook on the weekends-period! So as I walked into our favorite chinese restaurant, I met Buddha. Now let me clarify something, I have been to china and caught a glimpse of buddha thousands of times. However, this meeting was different. I actually got a chance to get close to him sitting on the receptionist stand next to the cash register. Next to the cash register??????? Someones god is sitting next to the cash register in a restaurant. My wait time was way too long so of course Sista Jackson appeared on the scene and began to scrutinize Buddha.

I couldn't stare down the chef who clearly had me waiting an hour for chinese food, so I gave the bronze buddha my attention. Let me mention one thing about buddha-I couldn't google him. Why you ask? Because in my opinion that was giving him a power or a notariety not worthy of my detailed attention-direct disrespect to the Most High God.

So I sat there, freezing cold, irritated, but clearly mortified at the symbol of something many people worship. My first thought was Buddha's belly is out-yes his belly was out and it wasn't covered. He had a wrap or a shawl like covering on-not a robe or heavy covering. His nipples were out and because of his obesity, he had man boobs. He was bald of course, and he had teeth. Yes teeth-this particular Buddha had teeth. He was a bronze statue and approximately the size of a 9 month old baby. He was smirking not smiling and once again I couldn't but notice that his chest and belly were uncovered. And the straw that broke the camels back, he was barefoot. I could see the bottom of his feet, in some cultures isn't this disrespect? I don't know about you but I don't want to see the bottom of my own feet-why would I worship a god who sits with feet showing?

I know main stream has many different versions of buddha and many different ideas of what he is-my question is-Why would anyone want to worship a god who doesn't care about his own temple? Either the resturant owners were making a mockery of buddha or buddha was making a mockery of them. Either way buddha made me shy.

This is not a a post to offend anyones culture or religion-by no means. But lets be clear there are organizations, religions, and individuals who live their life to offend christianity. I"m just speaking in my opinion on something I observed and wondered about-clearly just my thoughts for the day.

We are born with a desire to worship something and if were not careful we will find that we worship superficial things. Yes there is a such thing as superficial worship; God gave this to me last night as I lay in bed. Superficial worship is worshiping anything that isn't the Most high God. Superficial worship could be worshiping-worship. In my opinion we will all worship something whether it's our money, our material possessions, our spouses, our kids, our jobs, our friends, or our man made gods. Our hearts were designed to worship-my question is what we will choose to worship in this lifetime?

I personally don't want to worship anything I can wrap my mind around; faith is believing and worshiping in something you can not see. If you can picture your god in your mind and have a clear description of him-does that make him a great big awesome god? I'm just wondering out loud. Would a great god want to sit on a mantle or a counter next to the hand sanitizer? Would a great god be limited to mans imaginations and idea of what a god should look like? I think not. I want a god who is far greater that anything I can imagine or conjure up in my finite mind. I certainly don't want a god who is limited in my mind, because clearly my mind is not always pure.

The only man form of my God that I want to visualize is a man on a cross dying for my sins, bringing forgiveness, love, peace, and eternal life. That is the only man made visual of God I will bow down and worship.

"You are my witnesses", declares the Lord, "and my servant whom I have chosen", so that you may know and believe me and understand that I am he. Before me no god was formed, nor will there be one after me. I, even I, am the Lord, and apart from me there is no savior. I have revealed and saved and proclaimed- I, am not some foreign god among you. You are my witnesses," declares the Lord, "that I am God. Yes, and from ancient days I am he. No one can deliver out of my hand. When I act, who can reverse it?" Isaiah 43:10-13

One more Thing.....

2010-05-21T23:57:00.000-07:00

One more thing before I go to bed...........we don't have to remind God about his word. Everyday I try and convince God that he shouldn't be stingy or a zipper pocket with his blessings. When I"m feeling entitled and prideful, I remind God that he owes me all of his promises-I literally tell God "I'm holding you to your promises". Tonight on the floor of my prayer closet on top of a small mound of mess, I found a new truth about God. God created prayer not just for prayer request, desires, and burdens; he created prayer so he could fulfill according to his riches in glory. When I was a teenager, I had to convince my parents to do a lot of things for me or allow me to do certain teenage things. I always felt as though I had to remind them that I deserved certain rewards for good behavior or obedience. Sometimes I was rewarded and sometimes I got a flat out "No" just because. Gods not like that, we don't have to convince him to bless us-he wants to. Romans 10:12 says " He richly blesses those who call on him".

Don't be misled by what I'm saying, he loves our begging and pleading; but he lavishes on our intimacy and trust. When we pray for Gods will "We are setting Gods will in motion on earth" says Jennifer Kennedy Dean. She also adds that we don't have to put together a theologians thesis statement or bible scholar presentation. Whatever your prayer is today, know that you don't have to convince God any longer-he delights in giving us the desires of our heart according to his purpose and plan for our lives. If it aligns with his will and his word believe that we don't have to do anything but ask Matthew 7:7-8. We all are going to bed or waking up with a deep longing or prayer in our heart-just be assured of one more thing.........God loves to answer our prayers! What a fresh revelation to rest on.

But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you" Matthew 7:7-8

A Question Answered

2010-05-20T22:21:00.000-07:00

Tonight I got a text from an old friend. Our husbands played ball together a couple of seasons ago. This wifey wanted to know how to talk to her husband about religion. I was nervous and kind of stuck on stupid. I called her but she was busy so I told her I would call her after I put my babies down for bed. Now I haven't talked to this wifey in a long time, so I felt honored that she trusted my judgement call, but on the inside I didn't want to say the wrong thing. Many wives struggle with talking to their mates about God. Why you ask? Well it's because we are probably the last person they want to hear about God from. If your like me, you blow the roof off the house at least three times a month and then try and play it off like it's PMS.

If your the lady who loves the Lord, has a heart for God and wants to see your husband have an intimate relationship with the Lord-then join the club! We all want that for everyone not just our husbands-right? Keeping it real-we do want them to rush to the alter a little faster so we can get our way a lot quicker-I know I'm right even if you don't agree.

So here's my answer to all the wifey's who want to talk about God with their spouse.

First things first PRAY ABOUT IT! Ask God to show and lead you for the right time of day to even begin the thought of a conversation like this. Asking him when he first wakes up in the morning if he wants to talk about God will probably just get you suffocated by funky day old Bologna morning breath followed by rudeness. So ask God to show you his timing and or the place.

Next I would suggest asking yourself, if your a good example or a ready witness for him to receive the message from. Meaning, if you don't live a godly life he can look forward to, then you might want to reconsider being the one God uses. It doesn't mean you can't pray boldly for God to use someone else in his life, but you can't suggest something to someone you aren't doing yourself. Case and point, my family found out I was talking in church two weeks after I raised the hood on the truck for them talking in the church; they let me have it and I never lived it down.

If you are a great example or vessel to be used in your husbands life, I would start off light by planting seeds and laying a foundation. Instead of coming off strong-if you repeat things too many times they feel your nagging and instantly tune you out and tune ESPN in. Praying with him and short devotionals are great.

After you have prayed and planted small seeds of faith, I would then step into the bold zone and invite him to church. Uh oh! This is tricky in a lot of households especially during football season, choose your battles! You might have to get a cheap organ and tambourine and have church in your family room at half time............just kidding.

Telling anyone in this day and time about Jesus can be hard and scary. However, if there were ever a time to talk about God-it's now! We are living in some dark and evil times-to refrain from this level of conversation with anyone can be costly. We all have a responsibility to spread the good news of Jesus Christ. Tomorrow is not promised to anyone so the church chats are urgent. We are called to tell someone about God and it might not be your husband, but whatever you do "say something"!

Long to the short, pray about it and ask God to lead and guide you specifically on how to talk about Godly relationships with your husband or anyone for that matter. And even when your not in a position to make a difference in their life, your prayers will and all you have to do say is "Jesus grab the Mic". It's God will for everyone to come to a life changing relationship with him, emphasis on relationship. Practicing a relationship with God is what life is about-not religion! People run from religion, but they are interested in relationships.

Talking about God in our homes is a mandate and a high calling, however what could be more important than talking about a God who brings peace, love, and forgiveness in the times we live in? This wife has her mind in the right place-she wants her loved one to know God-I'm proud of her for wanting something far more precious for her man than what money can buy. What a precious fathers day gift-Jesus!

Hope this helps!

Husbands aren't Heros!

2010-05-17T12:25:00.000-07:00

Yeah I said it "Husbands aren't hero's". If your like me you think of your husband as this strong man who comes riding in on a horse or flies home with a cape. I love the thought of my husband as my knight in shining armor or this strong gladiator in shiny armor who comes running to my every need, whisking me away when terror arises!

If God says that there shall be no other Gods before me, does he mean our husbands or boyfriends? Possibly! Kirk Franklin has a song called "Hero" and in the song he describes a wonderful savior who is loving and comes to save everyone. Never once does he mention "Your husband" or "Your boyfriend". The song is so precious, you can't help but think of Jesus. On the contrary, some of us have made our spouse into a hero. When things go wrong or trouble arises, we pick up the phone and call our superman. Right? Come on admit it-we look to our men to be super hero's saving the day and whisking us off into the sunset on the white horse.

Sadly my fellow wifey's, we can't continue in this thought process. Only Jesus can be our everything! Jesus has to be savior and no other saviors will do! I find this out the hard way when I forget to keep God first over my boo (my husband). I love my husband dearly but I have to wonder sometimes how a hero can leave his cape (clothes) lying in the floor, "Would Jesus leave his sandals and robe in the floor"? Absolutely not, because the word says there is power in the hem of his garment.

When your overwhelmed or exhausted "Would Jesus grab the remote and turn on ESPN"? Absolutely not, he would tell you to go relax and go looking for the loaves and fishes so he could feed five thousand. Please don't miss this, I love my husband with all my heart, but the moment I put him a god like or savior position the Most high God is unhappy. Husbands are meant to provide, love, protect, and honor-not Save or rescue.

Only Jesus can be our everything, our savior, or the hero who rescues us every time. We put some very unrealistic expectations on our husbands and then get highly irritated when they don't measure up. We have to make sure that our husbands remain husbands and not Gods in our lives. God reserves a certain void in our hearts that only he can fill. If we seek to have our husbands fill his spot, were going to be in big trouble. God created husbands for a purpose and it doesn't include being God like or worshipped.

If you love your husband or boyfriend, see him as he is "a mere man in flesh" not a super power who can play the role of Jesus. Only Jesus can meet all of your needs, comfort you everyday, love you when your unlovable, honor you when your not acting honorable, and redeem you when you've blown it. Husbands can't be hero's- although in my household he comes pretty close. But God makes it very clear and firm that it's my job to make sure he(my husband) doesn't rob God of any glory, recognition, or praise.

Husbands are Gods appointed vessels to remind of us the covenant we have with Jesus Christ. We have to be mindful of how we view them and the order they may come in our lives. Picture this.....God is Batman, Jesus is Robin, and your husband is the cop in the show, who tries to help them save you from the bad guy. The real hero's save you but your man (the cop) gets some gratification and honor in the midst of the heroic efforts.

We have to keep our husbands number 2 to our number one (God) on a daily basis; I have lived for years in worship and awe of a man who wasn't born in a manger and who didn't die a shameful death for me. My order of operation was off. I find myself running to my husband before I run to Jesus. I find myself putting my husband in a very difficult position that he isn't capable of fulfilling-he's a husband not a hero. In the words of Beth Moore, Jesus has to be our one and only-no matter how much we love our husbands. When I have allowed my eyes to be fixed on my husband and not Jesus-my needs go unmet and I feel aggravated or insecure. Why is this? There shall no be no other Gods before him! No one in your life should even come close to holding the same value or reverence as the Most high-today I pray for every wife to turn to her one and only-and allow her husband to be a husband not a God. Husbands you can go ahead and unclench your fist at this statement, in the spiritual realm I'm trying to let you off the hook!

Do not follow other gods, the gods of the peoples around you; for the Lord your God is a jealous God.......Deuteronomy 6:14

Spiritual Bullying

2010-05-12T11:56:00.000-07:00

My six year old has a bully in her class. It has been an all out battle all year to keep the problem in check and not raise the roof, the grass, and the chalkboards off the school because my child is having issues. Now if you know my six year old-she is very feisty, somewhat bossy, self absorbed, and completely capable of handling her own. However, this particular bully just won't back down-her tactics are spiritual and emotional. After a literal but kicking (and I mean foot to the but) she still insist on tormenting kids at my daughters school. Through many efforts of the teacher, school administration, and parent help-the problem is starting to dissipate. The grass is still on the ground!

Well as I thought about this type of activity and why it occurs it made me realize that we as Christians tend to do a little bullying as well. Now before you begin to clinch your teeth or arch your brows-hear me out. Spiritual bullying can be anything we do to force our will, way, experiences, or beliefs on people we love. Like the small child we tend to want those that aren't so spiritual to succumb to what we want or believe is best for them. Case and point the wife who continues to berate her wayward husband. Yikes! How many women do you and I know that are the spiritual leaders in their home? Many I would have to say.

What about the older wiser Christian women who are supposed to teach the younger women? What about the parents who try and force their children into deep relationship with God? I could give so many examples but I named a few to start with. We as Christians sometimes miss the mark when we try and bully our friends and family in to believing our ways and not Gods ways. Don't get me wrong, I can speak on this because "I"m known as Sista' Jackson" my self righteous Churchy alter ego. Sista Jackson isn't gentle or meek in her witness, she bible thumps and does holy hip hop to get her point across.

Spiritual bullying is trying to influence, force, or persuade any individual to do what God has done for us, in that same order and get the same result. Wow! I thought to myself as I berated my entire family in the car on the way to church for not being timely and punctual. I had bullied them in to wanting what I wanted or doing what I wanted to do. Just because they wanted to eat their muffins at a snails space, go play basketball, watch reality T.V., etc on Sunday morning doesn't make them less spiritual. When I try and force my religion (not relationship with Jesus) principals and ordinances on them-it robs them of their customized journey with God. How can God design a unique plan for that individuals life if I"m holding them hostage to my spiritual regime? He can't!

I want so desperately for everyone I know love and care for to experience the healing, breakthroughs, and intimate experiences I have with God. But it can't work out that way, it means their worshiping me and my Faith and not the Most High God and his word. I know what your thinking....."Well blah blah needs to get his act together" and I would agree-everyone must get right with God so the rocks won't cry out, but if their worshiping our synagogue and not Gods, the transformation will be distorted. Everyone at some point in their lives will try and spiritually bully; whether it's your husband, wife, children, siblings, co-workers, best friends, church members, etc. we have this innate desire to convert people in to our idea of what they should look like.

I'm constantly trying to shape and mold my family into the Winans or the Grahams-I want us to be this Holy and Spiritual family. But it has to come from God and in his timing-all he ask me to do is plant the seeds of Faith and be a godly example to them. And guess what they have found pretty unique ways to tune my spiritual bullying out! Jesus doesn't need any co-chairs or foot soldiers. He needs a cloud of witness to testify to his goodness. I"m tired of wearing my self righteous brass knuckles, I'm tired of bullying people in to a place that's no where near God. Today I encourage you to keep praying, keep planting, keep witnessing, and keep hoping for God to do what he does best; forming ALL OF US into the image of Christ! His will, His Way, His Time!

A man of knowledge uses words with restraint, and a man of understanding is even-tempered. Even a fool is thought wise if he keeps silent, and discerning if he holds his tongue. Proverbs 17:27-28

See no Evil........

2010-05-10T10:51:00.000-07:00

I love to come to borders in the morning to sip coffee, browse books, and write. I'm sitting at a table sleepy ready to just take a nap and forget about anything productive. While helplessly day dreaming, I begin to ear hustle a conversation next to me. Two lovely blond ladies are discussing some books that are spiritually questionable. The bleach blond is clearly in a place in her life where she enjoys books that channel witch craft and spells. Well her study partner the dark blond clearly trying to focus and stay true to her obvious faith continues to try and direct her friend in another direction. Dark blond is telling bleach blond that her current book is full of witch craft and spells, bleach blond says out of no where "Lord of the rings was from the bible".

Trying as hard as I could not to pull up a seat at their table, we both started to laugh. Lord of the rings is biblical? I never heard that or knew that and quite frankly I"m not sure that she's right or wrong. What I do know is that the world is not our friend and it's very deceiving. T.V., books, the Internet, radio, school, etc. are all vehicles that can be used by the devil to deceive our children and us as well.

Just about everything I see on mainstream T.V. is deceiving and misleading. Take for instance Sponge bob; my daughter gets teased at school because I forbid her to watch this show. Well last week she decided to question my reasons for not liking a harmless cartoon? So I had the conversation I really didn't feel like having with a 9 and 6 year old. "Sponge bob is gay" I said firmly. Her eyes lit up like fourth of July. "What do you mean" she asked. "Sponge bob sends messages to kids that is not good so I'd rather you not watch it". She sat for a second and processed it, "Mommy your right, Sponge bob wears rollers and lipstick". "Sponge bob and squid word played Mommy and Daddy"; both of their minds began to race as they recounted all the homosexual encounters they witnessed on the show without even realizing it. They were shocked at how yucky they felt and deceived by their favorite cartoon. It wasn't fair they thought, we didn't get a choice we are forced to view this worldly standard.

Now this isn't a anti-gay blog; I have gay family members and I love them-their sexuality is between them and God. However, I don't want anyone straight or homosexual to teach my children anything that is not biblical truth. It's our job as parents, Christians, friends, brothers, sisters, etc. to help people understand that the World (T.V., Internet, radio) views are tricky, sneaky, clever, crafty, and very deceiving. If were not aware or spiritually discerning at all times our kids can be mislead and led astray by something as simple as a cartoon. It's time for us to take the blinders off and start praying about the things we watch, there is some junk out there that seeks to destroy the spiritual and emotional health of everyone. If were not careful certain things we allow in can cause us to be slaves to sins that Jesus already died on the cross for. We can't control every single thing our kids take in but we can do a great job at trying to keep the filters on. Simply stated, hear no evil see no evil!

Christ has set us free to live a free life. So take your stand! Never again let anyone put a harness of slavery on you Galatians 5:1

FEAR

2010-05-06T14:21:00.000-07:00

Last thursday while on my way to an awesome women's retreat, I got the news that a person named "Kim" commented on my blog. The comment read "Your husbands cheating on you and there's proof". Now if you read my blog faithfully you know that no one ever comments on the page. I can count on one hand how many comments I have had out 63 posts. So when I engaged this post, I was dumb founded.

At first glance, I was thinking oh my gosh-what is this person about to unveil. I was afraid, insecure, angry, and in panic mode. I was afraid that this person knew something I didn't know, I was afraid that God had failed me! I continued on to the retreat with the help of few friends from the Beacon Hill Church God started to deal with me.

For years I gave the devil an open invitation with ushers in to my home, my mind, and my healing because of fear. I am afraid over stupid stuff-things that are super trivial. Even though I was experiencing some major deliverance and breakthroughs-fear was not leaving. Fear doesn't want to leave my life. If fear is removed then the shackles are off my feet-right? No matter how much you grow, God will use physical trials to get the junk out of you. The enemy will always be a dart thrower or an accuser of the brethren-he is the father lies. No matter what was behind the comment it was causing strife and strife is best friends with fear!

A week later, my husband and I can laugh at the comment! Even if what that person said was valid or true, who would reveal that behind a secret profile and in a trafficky place (on a blog)? The devil would. If God wants to reveal something to me, he usually wakes me up, speaks through the word, speaks through Godly people, or gives me discernment. The first response I was getting was shut that thing down so people can't write stuff like that. Huh? You want me to run from the devil? I was told by someone I love to throw in the towel and shut down a vehicle God has used to help many people. Truth be told it wasn't a bad idea. However, if I'm called to spread the good news and watch God part the red sea while Pharoah and his army are behind me, why would I give up? This is exactly what the enemy wants all of us to do I began to reason.

In the words of Elvira Craig there is a diferrence between a fact and the truth. I believe that facts exist but my praise and my boasting is in the truth. Jesus Christ is Lord-thruth! God is in complete control over my life-truth, Fear is paralyzing-fact. Fear of lack, fear of rejection, fear of harm, fear of infedility, fear of failure to name a few have to go. There will be no shacking in mi casa!

Bishop Noel Jones says "if everyone likes you or your gift-then your not doing something right"! If my blog offends or outrages someone to evilness then I might be doing something right. I'm not taking my blog down, it would rob God of all the Glory and honor he deserves. I'm not going to engage the enemy because he has no power nor any authority over my life-period!

To all the Kims of the world (not the Kims I know and Love) The Kims who are governed by darkness who seek to destroy marriages or ministries-let me speak this in to your the atmosphere so you can know what time it is.....and if your afraid of anything in your life pray this scripture and watch how God deals with your situation in an awesome way. What the devil meant for my harm God uses for my good! LOL ATWTAWMH! Laughing out Loud all the way to Another Anniversary with my Husband!

PSALM 91
HE WHO DWELLS IN THE SECRET PLACE OF THE MOST HIGH GOD WILL REST IN THE SHADOW OF THE ALMIGHTY. I WILL SAY OF THE LORD, HE IS MY REFUGE AND MY FORTRESS, MY GOD IN WHOM I TRUST. SURELY HE WILL SAVE ME FROM THE FOWLERS SNARE AND FROM THE DEADLY PESTILENCE. HE WILL COVER YOU WITH HIS FEATHERS AND UNDER HIS WINGS YOU WILL FIND REFUGE; HIS FAITHFULNESS WILL BE YOUR SHIELD AND RAMPART. YOU WILL NOT FEAR THE TERROR OF NIGHT NOR THE ARROW THAT FLIES BY DAY, NOR THE PESTILENCE THAT STALKS IN THE DARKNESS NOR THE PLAGUE THAT DESTROYS AT MIDDAY. A THOUSAND MAY FALL AT YOUR SIDE AND TEN THOUSAND AT YOUR RIGHT HAND, BUT IT WILL NOT COME NEAR YOU.

YOU WILL ONLY OBSERVE WITH YOUR EYES AND SEE THE PUNISHMENT OF THE WICKED. IF YOU MAKE THE MOST HIGH YOUR DWELLING, EVEN THE LORD WHO IS MY REFUGE THEN NO HARM WILL BEFALL YOU, NO DISASTER WILL COME NEAR YOUR TENT. FOR HE WILL COMMAND HIS ANGELS CONCERNING YOU TO GUARD YOU IN ALL YOUR WAYS, THEY WILL LIFT YOU UP IN THEIR HANDS SO THAT YOU WILL NOT STRIKE YOUR FOOT AGAINST A STONE. YOU WILL TREAD UPON THE LION AND THE COBRA; YOU WILL TRAMPLE THE GREAT LION AND THE SERPENT. BECAUSE HE LOVES ME SAYS THE LORD I WILL RESCUE HIM I WILLL PROTECT HIM, FOR HE ACKNOWLEDGES MY NAME. HE WILL CALL UPON ME , AND I WILLL ANSWER HIM; I WILL BE WITH HIM IN TROUBLE, I WILL DELIVER HIM AND HONOR HIM.. WITH LONG LIFE I WILL SATISFY HIM AND SHOW HIM MY SALVATION.

Women of God real talk-the war is on! Pray this over your marriages or relationships, your homes, your children, your jobs, your ministries, your health, your finances-We are on the winning side-Victorious and Glorious!

"A spoon full of sugar helps the medicine go down"!

2010-04-23T11:10:00.001-07:00

I believe Mary Poppins was the original author of this famous melody, but I stand to be corrected if she isn't. Ms. Poppins knew that medicine was nasty and hard to swallow. She was singing to children the old classic that "a spoon full of sugar would help the medicine go down", but I believe she might have been talking to everyone. "A spoon full of sugar helps the medicine go down" cute little cliche' that works right? Wrong! A mouth full of sugar will not make the medicine go down, it will only get stuck in your dental work, lodged in the back of your tongue, or just make the medicine worst.

I'm always hit with thoughts that I like to share that have some spiritual yet funny truth to it. Medicine in our lives can be anything that causes difficulty in our healthy living. Sugar are the sweet or fraudulent people, places, or things we use to make the medicine go down. The alcoholic uses alcohol, the drug addict uses drugs, the shopaholic uses their credit card, the gossip uses her cell phone, the gluten uses food.....you follow me right? So I decided to help everyone I know who might need a little of Gods suga' (the word) to make your medicine go down......

Medicine: Your worried about the bills and your financial future
Sugar: For I know the plans I have for you, plans to give you a future and a hope. Plans to prosper you and not harm you. Jeremiah 29:11

Medicine: Your tired and the kids are on your last nerve
Sugar: I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength Phililpians 4:13

Medicine: Your tired and your husband is on your last nerve
Sugar: “Love is not self seeking, it’s not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrong.” 1 Corinthians 13:5

Medicine: Your afraid and worried
Sugar: For I have have not given you a spirit of fear, but of power, love and a sound mind 1Timothy

Medicine: Your not feeling like your self or feeling insecure
Sugar: He who dwelleth in the secret place of the Most High shall abide,under the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the LORD, he is my refuge and my fortress, my God; in him will I trust. Psalm 91:1

Medicine: You can't let go of the past or painful memories
Sugar: I will restore the years the locust have eatenI will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten, the great locust and the young locust, the other locusts and the locust swarm, my great army that I sent among you. You will have plenty to eat, until you are full, and you will praise the name of the LORD your God, who has worked wonders for you; never again will my people be shamed. Joel 2:25-26

So if anyone ask for some suga' today hand it on over!

"I'll straighten her out"

2010-04-20T12:50:00.000-07:00

The other day while helping my nephew get his laundry together I matter of factly asked this 14 year old pubescent boy a simple question that popped into my head. Now if you know this nephew you know he has no time for games and he will tell like it is with a straight face and mean no harm. Refer to my blog on things that make me smile he's the one that asked me what I was doing with my hair. He will also check me if his cousins are not in order i.e. their hair or clothes. He's a mild regulator in our home and has no problems with the responsibility of calling folks out.

So while standing in front of the washing machine I politely asked him a simple question "Would you like a wife that's clean or will it not matter to you"? He sat there looking at me with his big brown eyes and typical blank expression for a minute and then replied "Uhh it doesn't matter, I'll straighten her out". His answer tickled me so much that I couldn't stop laughing. "Wow, I wasn't expecting that one". My young nephew whom I like to call "Mister" was so honest. And make no mistake about it, he has all plans to straighten out her who ever she is in years to come.

This story brought me to a place where I had to think to myself; Mister is just doing what he knows to be right "Straighten em' out". In our family if anyone gets out of line, they will get straightened out-regardless of who it is (Pastors not excluded) everyone is fair game. As a wife and mother I always feel it's my duty to straighten everyone out. Last week the lunch lady denied my 9 year old a hot lunch, so what did I do-I had to straighten her out. If the kids are acting up-I have to straighten them out. If my husband leaves his clothes on the floor-I have to straighten him. It's a constant cycle of straightening and smoothing; until this week I realized that I will spend the rest of my life straightening people out-who really aren't straight at all if God doesn't intervene.

God says "I'll make the crooked places straight". Then why do we still try and smooth out the rough edges in others when our own corners are jagged? I laugh when I think of my sisters and I; we are notorious for setting each in our place, only to be convicted and ashamed the next day. If Gods word is a book of promises, why don't we allow him to do what he says he will do? Now don't get me wrong the lunch ladies had to be accountable and so do others, but there has to be decency and order to whom and how we straighten people out. My way doesn't work-tried and tested-it's combustable! Your way-may work and if does you probably have figured out the healthy way to "Set em' straight". I applaud that tremendously, but for the rest of us who will hold up the line in the Starbucks or throw our car in park in the school parking lot-we gotta do better.

I'm the Mom who will honk at you to get out the way so I can hold up traffic and watch my baby to class, I'm the lady who will tell the grocery clerk "I was here first" or write a letter to the principal when I want changes made. Why do I feel it necessary to do this? I'm not going to go Polyanna on every situation, but I do believe that God wants me to start allowing him to lead and guide me on those rocky people and places. Whew! This is a tall glass to drink from because I can think of four people right now I want to put in their place.......Lawd have Mercy on me!

I'm going to try for the next 7-okay 10 because I'm going to need some "uh-oh" days in there to try and not straighten anyone out. I really want to see how this can make a difference in my spiritual growth and in my witness for the Lord. So if you see me in the next 10 days trying to straighten someone out do 2 things: Ask Jesus to grab the Mic and remind me that I wrote this blog!

I will go before you, and make the crooked places straight....... Isaiah 45:2

Part II ....Pound for Pound

2010-04-17T00:22:00.000-07:00

I got a call from a close friend wondering if Pound for Pound was about her. I laughed and began to run down a list of couples I knew who were struggling and how she wasn't on that list. As I sat there laughing it up with her, I realized I had to clear the air, Pound for Pound was for everyone in a relationship who forgets that all things are possible with God! Marriage is a beautiful entity and direct reflection of the convenant God created between us and Jesus. So before you bolt from the barstool...........all I'm saying is, we can go Pound for Pound in any relationship when God is complete control. A midnight shot out to my girl who made me laugh tonight!

Pound for Pound

2010-04-16T13:18:00.000-07:00

I'm not a marriage expert, relationship counselor, or love guru. However I had an epiphany today after I hung up the phone with a close friend realizing that the majority of marriages I care about are under attack. It doesn't matter if you married Cliff Huxtable, Mr. Brady, or Al Bundy.....marriage is hard! I found myself sharing with a close loved one "Keep fighting" for your marriage. The typical cliche and chant for marriages everywhere. This term has worked for me and is something that I feel all couples should do if they want to stay married in this lifetime. But while driving, I asked myself and God "Who or what are we fighting"? If we are fighting for a good deal in a store we go to the manager, if we are fighting a cold we go to medicine or herbs; but if were fighting for our marriage are we fighting our husbands or wives? Depending on the day or the offense some of my sistren and brethren might want to go pound for pound with their better half; but today I'm having a spiritual moment where I don't raise your eyebrows or make your mouth drop open so I'm keeping it healthy.

No seriously, who or what do we fight when we want a great marriage? Certainly not the obstacle or challenge that stands in the way, right? In my opinion, there is a time when we can fight and a time when we can take off the gloves, go back to our corner, and wait for the bell. I didn't say wait on the score cards, I said wait on the bell. The bell is symbolic to waiting for God to call the fight. I don't want to fight for my marriage anymore, because if your fighting that means you have a 50/50 chance of victory or defeat. And on any good day were not as prepared for battle as we think we are, which means our opponent already has the advantage. The devil wants us to try and fight him...........and he wants us to think we can win!

The mistake we make trying to fight the devil for anything like marriage, is we try and do it in our own strength. We use logic, tatics, words, and so called spiritual actions to circumvent the devils plans against our marriages. He's laughing at us. Wanna know why? Because we fail to give the fight to God! Only God can truly fight the devil. On your most spiritual and holy day, you are still no real threat to the devil unless you have the power of God working in and through you. We need a promoter to set the scene, equip us with the right training, draw the crowd, and ulimately set us up for victory. If your fighting today for something worthy of a good fight, don't make the mistake of trying to do it in your strength-you will tire quickly and could end up knocked out. Instead allow God to be your promoter, your cutman, and your trainer so you can go pound for pound and round for round. Don't laugh at this cliche, but if you visualize the fight in the spiritual realm you would get where I'm coming from. Were not just fighting for our cute little marriages were fighting for our faith and salvation, and the devil knows that he if can distract us with the dynamics of the fight, we will be to consumed or overhwelmed to focus on God and his infinite power to fight all of our battles. Don't throw in the towel if your on the ropes, get back to your corner and let God have the fight!

"Do not fear or be dismayed because of this great multitude, for the battle is not yours but God's." (2 Chronicles 20:15).

Things that put a smile on my face!

2010-04-14T23:04:00.000-07:00

Okay, I'm taking a break from being super spiritual and serious....DON'T JUDGE ME! I want to share some things today that put a smile or brought laughter to my spirit. Hope they do the same for you:

1) I got a manicure today and the nail tech decided to wipe some wierd object that was stuck in the polish not on a cotton ball or a towel but Instead he chose to wipe it under the table or workstation we were sitting at. The smirk on my face let him know I was shy and caught off guard. The look on his face said "Oops, I forgot I was with a customer". The owner must be proud.

2) My six year old daughter got her cheeks squeezed by a classmate because she wouldn't shut up.

3) I tried a new all natural hair style that I thought was trendy and different, my nephew thought I was sleep walking and asked where I was going.

4) Starbucks is offering free coffee on thursdays if you bring your own mug :).

5) While I was video taping my nine year old dancing for you tube, the video caught my six year old staring off into space, while my 14 month old climbed on top of an unidentified object- all caught on tape.

I'm sleepy and ready for bed, thought I'd share how my day went. Hope you smiled!

Basketball Wives-a personal Note

2010-04-12T11:16:00.000-07:00

Dear NBA Wifeys,

They got us with the curtain back!

I'm sure everyone caught the new show on VH1 about basketball wives last night. As I sat on the couch with my mouth open, throat dry, eyes watery, and cheeks tight-I couldn't believe that this was the representation of Basketball wives. Let me say this to all my basketball/football/baseball/boxing/soccer sports wives...... If you love Jesus-it's time to start acting like it.

The world watches anxiously into the lives of people with money, power, or fame. If your a Christian or have been brought up in the Church-set yourself apart! And I don't mean cut off your wild home girl you love or put the glamour down-I mean make a clear distinction between your values and the worlds values. We may not be the athlete but clearly were on display and under the magnifying glass along with them. The world needs to see the remnant of Christian women who just so happen to be married to athletes.

Don't wipe off your gloss or stow away your designer bags, in fact keep em' on because you are a child of the of King and should look like it; but make sure your witness is effective. I'm not going to dress like Donna Reid so everyone will think I'm holy and righteous-no thanks. But I'm not going to wear a leopard cat suit either. I watched these sad eyed women and wondered if they know Jesus? Hurt people hurt people and no matter who your married to-we all have to deal with this journey called life.

If God has ever done anything for you then it's your turn to share with a basketball wife or girlfriend. Today I'm challenging all wives and girlfriends of an athlete to do something bold and share the good news of Jesus Christ. We are all accountable to our counterparts who are struggling. I won't be defined or labeled by this show, but I will allow myself to be available to do whatever God chooses for me to do to help heal the wounds and scars that are here.

The majority of us are loving wives and doting moms in the PTA wearing our Ugg boots. In the past I like some NBA wives have lost my identity as a wife and girlfriend of an athlete, but thanks be to a God who snatched me up out of the pit of materialism and low self esteem to show me-that I'm more than what people see on the outside. He gives beauty for ashes and joy for mourning. Were not representing the NBA or the men that work in it, were representing the Most High God.

If your married or dating an NBA player, know that there is one who will love you unconditionally, never leave you, or forsake you. I tried doing the drama, lifestyle, pain, and chaos on my own it made it worst; but when I found Jesus it was a peace I have never known. Jesus is the way, the truth, and the life.

Much Love and Respect,
From a Wife who knows

Easter is Over?

2010-04-06T11:41:00.000-07:00

I don't know about you but Easter felt rushed and simple. I don't know what I was expecting this year but I felt disappointed that Easter was so glamorous and colorful. I look forward to walking into retail and seeing the day of redemption glorified. Instead I felt overwhelmed with soda sales, plastic eggs, bunnies, and bulk paper towels. And to top it off my husband in Cliff Huxtable mode comes home with a kit to die eggs, baskets, chocolate bunnies, and of course the super fun plastic grass that sits frantically in the bottom of the colored wicker.

As the supplies sat on my kitchen counter occupying an overwhelming amount of space to my borderline OCD eye; I began to wonder what Easter meant in my household. Did we worship the eggs, the basket, the new outfit, or the fluffy bunny? My stomach churned at the thought of how I too had lost touch with what Easter was about.

Wanting everyone in their Sunday best, Patton leather shining, pony tails bouncing, and collars starched; I realized that I had lost my sense of what God wants Easter to be for me. I can't dictate Easter in any one's heart or mind but my own. I have to celebrate with one and for one only. Whatever Easter means to my family and friends is special of course but I can't mind their spiritual business. I have to celebrate the Holiday for myself. Relax! I'm not insinuating that we rob our little darlings of their chocolate bunnies or their competitive Easter egg hunts or rip the bows off their new dresses; I'm just saying we have to do a self check on what Easter is in our own hearts.

Easter for me was summed on a pew in Mount Hermon listening to an old hymnal your grandmother would sing in a high pitch soprano voice. Easter is about the passion of Jesus Christ getting the beat down of all times so I could gossip, have two children out of wedlock, judge and criticize, worship people, procrastinate, murder with my tongue, and so on. Easter is not about me getting my family to recognize what Jesus did on the cross and watching the movie; It's about me-numero uno recognizing, receiving, and living as though I have been forgiven and redeemed.

"I know it was the blood for me" is one of my favorite hymnals, it's a real love song about a man who loves a woman. He loves her so much that he laid down his life for her even when she didn't deserve it-even when the sin was too great for anyone to bear. The celebration is once a year, but I wonder how many of us really receive Gods love and forgiveness on a daily basis. Are we too commercializing Easter when we watch the movie and tell a story that doesn't live in our hearts? No matter what you have done or what your past looks like, will you please remember the meaning of why Christ took the beat down? Easter is bigger than the sermon, the crowds, the salvation, and the thoughts that run through our minds. It's living out this victorious life that we are FORGIVEN AND LOVED!

How ever you do it, however you worship, however you live-let the cross be a bloody reminder that no matter how far away from him we have come or will go OUR REDEEMER LIVES! LET EASTER LIVE IN YOUR HEART. RECEIVE THE GIFT OF FORGIVENESS AND LOVE!

Playing in the Pews

2010-03-07T14:23:00.000-08:00

Today in church there was so much gum chewing, paper throwing, outburst, loud talking, writing on programs, cell phone checking, wrappers on the ground, and a bunch of restless movement. And that was only what my family was doing. As I sat fuming in church barely able to take communion over the noise and chatter from my boisterous family; I got really offended an irritated with the disrespect for Gods house. My family is one of the most watched families at my church for the obvious and the not so obvious; so each one of us from youngest to oldest has a responsiblity to act with some decency and respect when dealing with the things of God-right? Well my family politely forgot they were in Church today and that others around them were watching how they behave in church. I was so ready to slap all of them into Easter sun rise service because they are quieter at home. It was unbelievable how noisey the sanctuary was. On the ride home I chastised the rowdy bunch and then turned my silent treatment wrath on them and reflected how we as Christians have lost our Holy minds when it comes to Church. Rather than list all the atrocities I saw at my fathers house today committed by others as well, I decided to blog about it and hope that all of you reading this will decide to help me in being good examples for the Church. Yes there are plenty of times I want to clean my purse, take a nap, tap my watch, laugh at a hair do or hair don't, or pass a note; but I'm reminded that we have to take care of our Fathers house and be about our fathers business. We should have reverence and respect when we come to worship. Church is not just about listening to a sermon or praying, it's about worshiping the Most High God. Were not little babies anymore and most of us have been raised in the church and should no better. My family was my rude reminder that we have to respect our fathers house and keep the temple sacred-even when we want to open up a sandwich, sip a cup of coffee, or break out our ipods. Gods house has to have order and it has to start with us. So if you see some crumbs or wrappers at my church go please don't slap them into next year.

Observe my Sabbaths and have reverence for my sanctuary. I am the LORD Leviticus 19:30

Irrelevant relevance

2010-02-28T21:27:00.001-08:00

I'm sure all wives of athletes can testify to this one; everywhere our husbands go there is always someone trying to be relevant. A few weeks ago I was telling my twin sister a story of this person who was desperately trying to get my husbands attention or mine so to speak. For some reason I keep running into people who really want to appear close to or important to my husband. Well guess what those of you reading......a lot of them are irrelevant and the people that are relevant know who they are and don't have to jump through hoops or pop lock to remind us. In such crazy and chaotic times, everything is either irrelevant or relevant. Just go to Yahoo or CNN sometimes and decide for yourself. We as Gods people have to decide what is going to be a constant relevance in our lives or whom will be a constant relevant in our lives. Last week as I flew home from LA I was sitting on an aisle seat and of the plane; well a middle aged woman asked could she sit next to me so I politely got up and stood in the aisle so she could grab the window seat. Before she could she could get into her seat she needed to lift her heavy carry on into the overhead bins. This polite man behind her in a nice gray suit decided to help her and put the suitcase up. Clearly impressed and flattered she tells him in her most sultry sassy voice "oooooh thank you, your so lucky". So much giggling and sizzling in that one statement. I was blushing and so were the people around me. Because of the language barrier and her thick accent she meant to say "oh thank you I"m so lucky"; it didn't matter though all the man heard was low key flirting. The way she switched her hips and smiled at the man caught me off guard and had my eyebrow raised, forehead scrunched, mouth open, and completely taken back. Just that quick, this woman could have become relevant to him. Shy and totally deflecting her over zealous thank you, he blew her off. Bravo for you Mr. Helpful but someone please pull the curtain back on Ms. Thankful. I chucked to myself and sighed as a married man avoided the bait. Back in my seat I went. Well, the story doesn't end right there. A few minutes into the air and after take off I noticed that the man on my left in the aisle seat across from mine, found all that giggling relevant and decided he couldn't take his eyes off of her. Yikes! Mr. Aisle seat was married too. So she went from irrelevant to Mr. Helpful to oh so relevant to Mr. Aisle seat. I shook my head and reflected. If we are not careful of our surroundings, influences, and doctrines we too can take in some pretty foolish "ooh your so lucky" stuff. I hope I don't loose you with my story but I'm trying to paint a picture of how easy we can loose track of what or who matters. We have to be discerning and aware at all times of how the enemy can divert our attention to things that are not relevant to God; things that can be costly in the long run. Whether it's a reality show, a shirt you don't need, a friend on facebook- always keep in mind that nothing should ever take our attention off of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. And nothing should be more relevant than having an intimate relationship with him. These past few weeks have been crowded with tons of things to do but they were irrelevant and pointless when they kept me from my one on one time with God. "If your so lucky" make sure nothing in your day is more relevant than spending time God.

Liar Liar Pants on Fire

2010-02-24T13:43:00.001-08:00

Why do people tell lies? Have you ever been lied to? Are you someone that tells lies a lot? And when did you stop telling lies? Notice my last question asked when did you or I stop telling lies? I stopped the moment God convicted me and showed me that he was the way, the truth, and the life John 14:6. I lied a lot as child or embellished things to get attention. As a child I also lied to avoid punishments or getting in trouble. As a teenager I lied so I could sneak out and see boys. As an adult I lied to make myself look good or front like I was something that I wasn't. No I wasn't a pathalogical liar but I told a few pink and white lies. Come on women you can agree, we have told some pink lies to get what we want or to manipulate a situation. However, as my relationship with Christ changed so did my honesty and integrity. I could no longer see myself telling a lie for any reason. In fact I have had some horrible experiences where people I love have lied directly to my face, so now lying is detestable to me. And if anyone reading this has ever lied to me they know that once I catch on that your lying, the relationship usually takes another turn. I either cut you off completely or I treat you like a liar. Now why would a blemished full of flaws person like myself be so harsh? Because lying causes pain and a falsified sense of truth. Lying destroys relationships and damages hearts. Lying wrecks the natural bonds God created for us to have with one another and once those bonds are damaged it's hard to get that back. I went on the internet to discover why people tell lies and came up with a few reasons why people lie: To avoid conflict, to avoid getting in trouble, to look good, or to avoid being exposed. Wow! Most of us can relate to those emotions right? And the article goes on to say that we all have told lies in our lifetime whether it was early on or currently. Recently someone I considered a friend told me a bold faced lie and it hurt me. I considered her a friend and shared some really deep moments with her. So when she told me this lie it made me feel insecure, as though I were not good enough for the truth. Although the thing she was embellished was not that big of a deal to me, it was to her. My heart breaks for her and those that are like her. As I am learning at the young age of 33-the truth will set us free. I have been confessing my junk to other for the pass few months and although it feels humiliating and condemming-the truth sets me free. It's not warm or fuzzy feeling to confess your issues or hang ups to others but the word says that when we confess he (being God) is faithful and just to forgive us and cleanse us of our sins John 1:9. I'm no saint-far from it if Jesus doesn't grab my mike-but I know first hand that Gods truth is our liberty, our reward, our defender, our identity, and our freedom. Don't let lies bind you or keep you from Gods truth. We don't have to hide or be ashamed anymore of lies- if you tell lies or have been lied to break free for Jesus is the way, the truth, and the life.

Daddys home

2010-02-11T13:16:00.000-08:00

Last friday we got the horrible news that my husbands Dad had passed away. It was 6 in the morning and I was trying to go back to sleep after a rough bout with my 1 year old. So as I sat next to my husband while he sobbed silently, I began to reflect about my own Dad. I would be devastated to get that call on any level regarding my Father and while he was no Cliff Huxtable I love him very much. I've had plenty of time to laugh and cry about my own up bringing with Senior as my brother in law Craig calls him. I grew up with a great man who would curse you out and in the same the breath invite you and your friends to the movies. My Dad wasn't the spanking type parent; he didn't have to be-his words were lethal and could leave you gasping for air. My siblings and I get kicks and giggles out of our up bringing and how funny our type A Dad was. He wasn't perfect and no where close to Mr. Brady, but he never left us and he never led us astray. He was our Dad, we didn't understand his banter or his embarrassing attacks on our high school friends character but we had to abide. So this week I began to wonder about my other Dad in heaven. Notice I say Dad and not father. Dad is endearing and sounds like a man who loves to be a parent. Father sounds more structure in my opinion. So it got me to thinking, how do we view God? Do we see him as a loving doting Dad who loves his kids or a structured disciplinarian? I guarantee all of us have grown up with a view of what we think God looks like or what he really is. And maybe we didn't grow up with any image or belief of him or anything spiritual. I discovered that we as believers and non believers might have a distorted image of God based off of what our absent or present earthly fathers were like. From my findings and conversations, we don't believe he is a loving God who is slow to Anger. I always thought of God as this big huge white man who was sitting high in the sky watching my every move with raised eyebrows and a stick in his hand. I'm not really sure what the stick represents but it's probably not nice. I also realized this week that I have compartmentalized my heavenly father in the same category with my earthly father. My view of God was not an accurate portrait of his character and it had a lot to do with what I thought Fathers were like. I didn't understand Gods love and how it is directly connected to forgiveness and redemption. I also didn't relate God with unconditional love until this week. Yikes! I'm a Christian blogger still grasping Gods love for me? Huh? I thought I had it all figured out and understood him well. I was wrong, God wants out of the little tiny box he's been in -inside my heart and mind for years. He wants the truth to be revealed about his true character and his three fold being (Father, Son, and Holy Spirit). Join me today in searching, digging, praying, and clawing your way to the only true living God. I'm willing to bet we have lived with a false sense of who God really is and how he feels about us based off the way we grew up. No matter what your real Dad is like or isn't like; God is not like your Daddy! God is the Dad that will always come home, he's the Dad that will never leave, he's the Dad that will never embarrass you in front of your high school sweet heart, and he's a Dad that will never lead you astray. He's your Father who loves you in spite of you. He knows your going to blow it and still continues to love and approve you. The more you search out his true nature the more you will be able to appreciate his love for you. I believe Mothers are Gods favorite but I also believe he uses Fathers to show us the deep rooted desire that we have for him and the great urge to say "Daddy's home"! Rest in Peace Bobby Jackson, Sr.

JESUS GRAB THE MIKE!

2010-02-01T22:44:00.000-08:00

This past sunday I overheard some of my Church family members berating a guest for inappropriate behavior while in Church. So as I'm walking down the steps of my Church because our parking lot and foyer are connected. Yes my precious Church home is so small that it has no lobby or foyer so when the gossiping starts it's usually in the parking lot/front steps/foyer. It's pretty shameful because these veteran members weren't candid about their discussion and I had to keep looking back to make sure I was at Church and not the corner store. "Oh no they didn't" is what I was thinking as I helplessly watched them ridicule a child for their conduct in Church. Yes adults were gossiping on the Church steps about the behavior of a child who probably doesn't know a lot about Church. Now the little sinnerling was a bit noisy and had no Church ettiquette at all,but isn't that our job saints? As a sanctified sinner myself I know first hand how self righteous and pious I can look or appear. I have been told off and repremanded for my "holy rolling" and "Righteous High falutin. But if it's going to cost someone a visit to Church then I want Jesus to grab the Mike. Christians make me laugh, wanna know why? Because we are full of sin and don't realize we can be the reason some people won't come back to Church. People don't come to Church to avoid Jesus they don't come to Church to avoid Christians. Now isn't that sad, adult saints chastising a child in an ungodly way on the church steps. Yikes! Were starting to look like the world yall! If you love God and want others to love him and his son Jesus it's time that we make sure that were not standing on the steps of the Church blocking someone's way in. And if you feel yourself about to say something or do something that could potentially threaten the integrity of your Church's ministry politely yell "JESUS GRAB THE MIKE"! WHEN JESUS SAW IT, HE WAS GREATLY DISPLEASED AND SAID TO THEM, "LET THE LITTLE CHILDREN COME TO ME, AND DO NOT FORBID THEM; FOR OF SUCH IS THE KINGDOM OF GOD" MARK 10:14

You can't save Pookie!

2010-01-25T11:38:00.001-08:00

We can't save Pookie! Pookie is anyone in your family that you try and help over and over again and nothing comes about. You can give Pookie a $20,000 check and see nothing. You can give Pookie the shirt off your back and Pookie will still say their cold. Pookie will go to Church for every service or auxillary and still have no life changing relationship with Jesus Christ. You can give Pookie your car and they will still go no where. Pookie is the person in your family whom you have enabled to be disabled! Suck your teeth or shake your head but if you sit back and think about it we all have enabled our loved ones to remain in some shady situations. Oh yes, even the holiest saints and pillars in the Church are guilty of this. Ask me how I know, because I have tried time and time again to try and help or change people I love, only to get disappointed. I have done what I thought could be helpful and beneficial to those I love at times. But when I stepped back and looked at the fruit of the tree or the fruit of the labor-there was none. We can work like hebrew slaves to save or help out certain (notice I said certain) people and nothing will change. Now don't get me wrong some people will take your help and go to the next level or do what their called to do. And then there are those we have enabled to be disabled who you can't help or change in a natural strength.

1) Are you the wife who has enabled your husband to jepordize the integrity of your marriage because your afraid to draw boundaries?

2) Are you the Father who has not met your childs needs emotionally and now you can't stop them from begging and feeling entitled to material things because that was your forte?

3) Are you the friend who constantly loans money to the same friend even though you know that your friends practices bad money management and relys on you for a bail out?

4) Are you the Christian who acts self righteous or has a somewhat checkered witness so your lost family member won't come to Church?

The List could go on and on. I have enabled some pretty shameful things in my friends and family because I feel as though I can change that person or help them make a difference. Right? Wrong! When was the last time anyone ever helped a family member change? Sisters can't change Sisters, Brothers can't change Brothers. Wives can't change husbands and Parents can't change their kids. But Guess what? Our prayers can. I have seen my mouth, my money, and my advice do nothing for people that I love. It's my prayers and my behavior that has caused me to see dramatic changes in people I never thought. At 32 years of age, I'm slowly learning to move out of the way and let God be God. Trying to do his job is impossible and can lead to huge amounts of stress. We all want so badly to use our resources, wisdom, and experience to change our loved ones but end up with no results. If it hasn't worked thus far it's time to get back to the basics. So here is my new strategy: I plan on letting my prayers to the Most high and my conduct be a catalyst for change. I would love to do it all myself but the reality is I can't and won't. I'm not God. It's time to start praying more prayers and start conducting ourselves in a manner that will influence and impact those that really need us. They don't need anymore of our money or advice; they need our bold heart felt prayers. Maybe you gasping going "That's not me" but I beg to differ. Almost all of us have enabled someone or something that is not healthy and my prayer is that today we will all wake up and face whatever or whomever it is. God can change us and Pookie if we pray boldly and believe that he can and will. End the enabling and allow God to have complete control, he said he would leave the 99 to go after the 1. Pray for one another, that you may be healed. The effective fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much. James 5:16

Keep Yourself Up!

2010-01-18T23:16:00.000-08:00

I decided that I was going to keep it real and speak on something that I think a lot of women struggle with. As Mothers, Wives, career women, etc. we have a responsibility to our husbands and our families. So much so that King Lemuel's Mother has a whole chapter devoted to virtuous women at the end of Proverbs. Proverbs 31 to be exact. Yes I know what your thinking who can measure up to that picture of virtue, right? Well the majority of you reading this already do. You are holding down your households holding down jobs and doing with it husbands and kids running around. So after reading this chapter I decided I wanted to speak on something that has been bothering me in so many ways. Why is it that women are told "Don't let yourself go" once they get a man? Why is there is huge emphasis put on the way we look and carry ourselves but men can look any old way and never get told anything. Well Ladies, this is strictly for us. After going to a function for my girls, I started noticing a lot of the Moms. Now, I'm not judging or criticizing but I'm being real. I was a bit shocked to see so many outdated jogging suits and Lucy and Ethel hair do's. What tha'??????? I guess I was in my own bubble because I never really noticed until I noticed all the cute perky twenty somethings wondering around the same function. I'm not saying we have to dress like our teenage daughters and nieces, but I am saying it's time to put the sponge rollers up and step our game up. Proverbs 31:22 says she makes tapestry for herself and her clothing is fine linen and purple. And there it is, we have been given a biblical charge to "Keep ourselves up". Not just for the sake of our husbands but for the mere fact that God says we should. When you look good, you feel good, and you act good. You are a display of Gods splendor to unbelievers so we should look the part when we can and time permits. No one wants frumpy Christianity. And let me be clear, because you can find me at 8am in some faded sweats with a knit cap that looks like something Mrs. Roper wore in Three's company when I drop my kids off to school I had to set a goal to myself to make sure that I kept myself up. You don't have to run out and buy a new wardrobe or spend countless hours in the salon. It could be wearing your favorite sweater with some lip gloss or lip stick. It could mean treating yourself to a manicure once a month. All I'm saying is, we as Mothers can't forget to represent our God. You don't have to look like your trying to keep up with the chicks in music videos but if God has blessed you in any way you should want to wear it. And guess what our husbands will enjoy our initiatives as well; and if yours doesn't- do it for God. I"m only writing this because I'm good for sitting in work out pants all day. But it makes a huge difference when my husband comes home and sees his WIFE not Ethel. A squirt of perfume or a dab of blush can make a huge impact in your self esteem and how you feel about yourself. If your tired overwhelmed or overworked never forget that God designed us to be strong, wise, faithful, committed, domestic, and Godly. Your countenance should also reflect this, which is always a beauty undefined. So every now and again throw on something to remind yourself and everyone around you that your a Woman after God's own heart first and foremost; and then boldly remind him why he married you (wink wink)!

One Question

2010-01-16T23:52:00.001-08:00

I'm having a real writers moment. Yes my friends I'm sitting on the floor of my closet blogging at midnight. Obviously this couldn't wait because God gave me the sudden urge to get out of my bed from under my thick comfy covers to write this. Sleep is my best friend and with small children my best friend and I don't get to catch up so this is a rather awkward moment for me. I had three encounters today that pulled on the strings in my heart:

1. A strange and rather random break-up-no mess involved.

2. A friend called me and said she wanted to go out with the girls but feared that if she did her man might be inclined to do something inappropriate if she wasn't manning her post.

3. A family member found out an ex boyfriend died. Now this was a love that should have been rekindled and restored so it was quite devastating to my loved one because they had hopes of sparking an old flame.

Three different scenarios on one simple Saturday. I sat on my bed staring at the wall thinking "God please help" and then it came to me "Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love" 1 John 4:8. We don't have love until we have God, God is love. You can have parents, a husband or wife, tons of babies, fans, or a circle of friends that adore and Love you but it's not that lasting unconditional Love(Gods love). Our situations in love can be really life altering, heart shattering, and down right terrifying but when you wake up one day and realize that God is love it will reshape how you view human love. What if we all received Gods love, would we keep fearing break-ups or being alone? If we knew God as Love, we wouldn't put up with half the stuff we do in our love relationships. A lot of us are hurting and scarred because our expectations of Love have not been truly met. I have had my heart broken many times to find out in a closet on the floor that God really loves me in spite of what he knows about me. God Loves me! I get sad because we all were built with a desire to Love and be Loved; but somewhere in our lives our Love accounts have deficits and overdrafts. And do you know why-because God created hearts for his Love first and foremost. Nothing shall be in the place of his Love and if you think I'm rambling-try putting a Man before God and see what happens? God wants to be all of our first loves with arms wide open. If your broken your not getting it or may have a hard time grasping this, so I'm going to get back in bed on this one question DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH GOD LOVES YOU?

The Winners Circle

2010-01-11T22:25:00.000-08:00

The year 2010 has brought me some enlightening discoveries about the direction I’m heading in. And after a few discussions with a few friends and family it’s clear; 2010 will be a year of separation. You’re probably going “How so”? Well let me paint a vivid but difficult picture of how it looks. I am going through a mighty transformation; one that has been long over due. I’m 32 years old and my time is now; how do I know? Because the fire is burning high, the blows are harder, and my vision is no longer blurry (I Hope). I’m waking up out of a deep sleep yall. So I’ve packed up my baggage and decided to start this new journey, it probably started a few months ago but solidified on Dec. 21^st. I rolled up my sleeves, strapped up my gear, and decided that my excuses had run out. There were no more shotgun starts and the stands were empty. I have to run the race………but wait the stands are empty? How can this be when I’ve been there for so many people? How can I run a relay without a team? How can I get to the finish line with no applause or rowdy handclaps? How can I do this by myself I ask repeatedly? Can I at least have a few friends and few family members along the way for goodness sake?

Well the answers came quickly but it wasn’t the responses I expected to get. Someone of us have begun a journey in to wholeness and oneness with the True living God. Some of us have made commitments to move forward and pursue the race of healing and maturation. We want to get to the finish line but what is stopping us? Well stop for a second, imagine yourself kneeling down at the blocks your laces are tied, your conditioned well, and your opponent is ready to leave you in the dust. Now look in front of you; who is in your lane helping you with the relay? Who’s going to get the baton on your second leg, the third leg, and who’s got your anchor? For me it has been many of the wrong people. I realized I’m in a race with a swift and powerful opponent who knows me and my weaknesses. My opponent knows my strengths and he knows what part of the race I will fail or succeed in, he also knows my running mates. I look over and my opponent is smirking and giggling; how could this be? And then I look over at my team and I see what he sees…. their not ready. Leg 2 is fun, she goes to church from time to time-but she lives in the gray area, and her Faith will weaken or fade every time she hits a hurdle-and she is not in proper shape for a race of this magnitude. My third leg has marital issues, she’s been beaten down by life, she gossips and criticizes to get by, and seldom goes to church; she’s not even ready to warm up. And my anchor she’s rooted in the word but the word isn’t rooted in her, she’s self-righteous, judgmental, and very hypocritical-she quotes scriptures but doesn’t apply them to her own life-she’s capable of dropping the baton. The enemy will catch up with her no matter how far ahead she gets because of her lack of conviction in her conduct, attitude, and character. My team is alarmingly unprepared to support my goal of victory. So I have to blow the whistle! If we don’t blow the whistle on our weaknesses we might be forced to forfeit the whole thing!

In our Journey to wholeness and healing were going to have to separate from the people, places, or things that hold us back. If it brings a false sense of happiness, peace, or comfort-it’s time to separate. The war is on and were the prey. Our enemy knows us and he knows the exact people we need to keep around us to keep us from the finish line. He knows the very thing we need to keep us distracted and living in the past. If we don’t separate or set ourselves our part, were never going to accomplish our God given purpose and live victorious lives. Maybe it’s one of your closest friends who’s not healthy for you; what do you do? Do you keep them around and salvage the friendship or save face? Do we keep the takers on board and continue to feel drained, robbed, or stagnate? I think not. This is a challenge to find yourself in a position to start separating yourself from the people, places, or things that keep you from a Healthy relationship with God, purpose driven, healthy relationships, peace, love, and joy. I’m not saying cut them off and throw them away with last night’s garbage. I’m saying be courageous and recognize who or what it is holding you back from winning the race. If you love God your already in the winners circle; so build a team that will help fight the good fight. Build a team who won’t dig up the good seeds that have been planted or plunder all you have worked hard for. Build a team that the enemy will tremble over! Don’t get laughed at while your enemy advances. Build a team that allows God the Father, God the Holy Spirit, and God the son to be your legs and your anchor. Build a team that wants to win! Life is a race and it’s not given to the swift but to the one who endureth to the end.

Give credit where credit is due!

2009-12-30T15:23:00.000-08:00

Why do we give credit to people when we should give all the credit to God? I sat in my car right now and had to post this food for thought real quick...Let's see if you agree with my "Why's".

1) Why are they making a movie after the pilots who were flying the plane that landed in the Hudson river when it was God who landed the plane safely on moving sinking water?

2) Why are we so focused on Elin Woods for exposing Tiger Woods inappropriate behavior;when it's God who has and always will uncover an adulterous nation? Although I do give her credit for giving the world the most timely, hilarious, redemptive story in 2009.

3) Why do we give credit to probiotics, vitamin C, antibiotics, old school remedies etc. when we or our children are healed of something?

4) Why do we give credit to that "Obama Money" when a check comes in the mail?

5) Why do we give ourselves credit when we do something generous for someone else?

6) Why do we give people credit for things only God can do; like keep my confrontational family from raising the roof and tossing the tree while they all stayed at my house for a whole week this Christmas?

This may sound self righteous or randomly thought out, but I'm just wondering if your like me and forget to give God the credit for everything.

When The chickens come home to Roost

2009-12-30T13:44:00.000-08:00

This isn't my list of New Years resolutions. This is a time in my life where I have to 'fess up so God can clean the mess up! 2010 is five minutes away and I feel like 2009 was a blur. Was I asleep through it all? Where did the time go and what did I do with 2009. I sit here wondering what will 2010 bring for me. I used to make resolutions before each year, and with in a week of January 1st I realized that my list was no where to be found. It was a dream or revelation I would write down on paper and then forget I ever made these commitments to myself. The beauty of it all is that no one but God saw these idle demands I made on myself. The past 6 weeks have been grueling, heart wrenching, sobering, yet so enlightening. The chickens have come home to roost. God has begun showing me through some harsh dissection, separation, and transformations that it's my time. This is my season to allow him to shape and mold the real me-not a make over but a transformation. This is what I think it's going to look like

1) Instead of making excuses, procrastinating, or assisting other peoples purposes; It's time for me to use my gifts for my God given purpose. We are all created with a gift and it's time to use them for great purpose and stop spectating as others use theirs.

2) My character has more flaws than a Gucci bag on eBay. SYH (Shake your head) because little Ms. Blogger has had to take a hard look in the mirror and come clean. I've decided that I want my character (not what people think of me) to supersede me. I have to start living for 1 but acting like 1 million are watching. Period.

3)My conduct has to be one that doesn't reflect my true nature of wanting "my way all the time" and "desiring to slap everyone into Easter". My conduct should say that I"m set apart, I"m a peculiar person in Christ and my Identity is not set by worldly standards. I"m not sure that people can tell the difference if they saw me in the street. I want to walk the walk even if the real me wants to pick up a golf club.

4) I have to talk the talk. I realized that I can sound like a preachers wife at a revival or I can get real comfortable sounding like Wendy Williams the talk show gossip. Not to mention my tongue is worst than a two edge sword. It's been known to cut and shuffle-no poker face attached. If God is in me then why is it so easy for nonsense to come out of me? Jesus grab the mike!

I"m not sure what is going to be revealed to you when your chickens come home to roost, but, I hope you have the heart and will to accept it. 2010 can't be a year of repeat offenders, spectators, co-defendants, and band wagon riders. Chickens can't come home if the door is shut because were off soaring like Eagles. Being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ;” Philippians 1:6

Merry "Mini Van" Christmas

2009-12-18T23:59:00.000-08:00

If I get cut off by another person in a mini van, I'm going to scream. My stereotype of mini van drivers are these cute soccer Moms toting tots around the city while sipping on some Chai tea in their favorite "My child is on the honor roll" mug. Well to my surprise, I"m sadly mistaken. During this Christmas (note Christmas not Holiday) season I have been cut off, almost rear ended, and invisibly side swiped by some of the most bold people in mini vans. And guess what their not all soccer Moms toting tots. I began to wonder what the rush was and why they felt the need to buy mini vans if they were going to rush and drive inappropriately. Then it dawned on me, they are in the Holiday spirit. Notice I said Holiday spirit and not the Christmas spirit. Holiday shopping has become pagan and completely irrelevant. The holiday spirit has me wanting to go out late at night into stores trying to score the latest toy or gadget like it's crack. Who does that-who goes out to stores at 10:30pm to shop for gifts? What does the holiday have you doing? Speeding in your mini van? Oh so what-I can pick on mini van drivers if I want to. In fact some of my best friends drive them and I bet they are the very people cutting people you off at the mall. I"m not sure in every case, but every time I see a mini van it reminds me to slow down and remember that I have to get back to the "CHRISTMAS SPIRIT". The spirit of Christmas makes me want to sing carols, sip cocoa, and knit sweaters for my family instead of buying things. Okay I"m kidding but to see the look on my family's faces when they opened up their knitted sweaters would be priceless. One of these days I"m going to show up and give them a Christmas to remember-one without the late night shopping or the road raged mini van drivers. I"m exaggerating but I do threaten them every year around Thanksgiving.

Okay, here it is-the mini van drivers are just my funny way of saying that this season has turned into a rush to forget about the real present. God gave us his son and sent him to a manger not a fancy temple or resort-but a manger with smelly animals. He sent us a savior so we could blow our horns, snap at the sales clerk, and spend money we should be saving. He sent us the best gift ever............Jesus! It doesn't matter if your in a mini van or a mini cooper; make sure you slow down and remember that unto us a child is born-a newborn King!

Why Do Married Men Like the club?

2009-12-01T13:18:00.000-08:00

Yeah I said it, "Why do married men like the club"? I ask this question because my husband enjoys night clubs. In fact he has been two weekends in a row. Before you start shaking your head-hear me out. Back in the day, my husband and I would have a huge argument over him wanting to go to the club. I always assumed he wanted to go so he could act "Single and ready to Mingle". Every insecurity and weak emotion would come over me if I even heard the sound of champagne glasses clinging. After asking my husband "Why do you like the club so much" and receiving a truthful but bland answer, I came up with my own opinion. Married men like the club because..........

1. There are no to do lists or children screaming their names.

2. They can stare at beautiful women half dressed or decked out who appear to be perfect, unlike the sweats and ugg boots their liable to catch us in.

3. They can watch the beautiful women with "music blasting", which means there's no nagging, complaining, or myriad of questions.

4. Their single friends say so! Just kidding, but the reality is their single friends won't really hang out unless it's somewhere they can be "Single and ready to Mingle". Who wants to male bond at little league or a Church play? Go ahead shake your head-but I"m right!

5. They can boost their ego instantly and all they have to do is pay a cover charge.

6. Or they have bored married friends.

Your probably laughing or sucking your teeth, either way you probably agree with me at some point. Married men and Christian men alike enjoy the club; they may not admit it to you but they do. I'm not here to bash the night club scene but, I do believe it's a place for single people. Sure I visit a club every blue moon with my husband or close friends; but I'm good if I never see another. So if your like me and you would prefer to see your Married Man do some more family friendly male bonding try these things and see if it makes a difference.....

1. Keep Quiet. Allow God to reveal anything that is inappropriate or wayward; husbands run to the stuff we tell them is bad for them--LOL!

2. Pray for more married friends that are good influences and who hold him accountable if necessary. Or hook their single friends up with some of your nice single friends.....on second thought-hold off on that.

3. Pray for more couple friends that way everyone wins, the more the merrier.

4. Pray for integrity and honesty.

5. Go with him and when you do step-dress to kill!

6. Pray for fun ways to supplement those choices.

We can't change our husbands minds on anything they want to do but God can. The next time your married Christian husband decides he wants to go to the club instead of releasing that Gucci shoe to the back of his car (this only happened once ) release it over to God. I will lead the blind by ways they have not known, along unfamiliar paths I will guide them; I will turn the darkness into light before them and make the rough places smooth. These are the things I will do; I will not forsake them. Isaiah 42:16

Heathens

2009-11-18T11:41:00.000-08:00

Today I had a friend share with me how her ex-boyfriend decided to show up on her job acting a complete fool. Friend says that the ex decides for the second time that he's going to come up to the school she works at and start behaving like a total heathen. Yes, heathen-I said. Heathens are those who openly and securely love to act contrary to God like behavior. We all fall short and miss the mark on a daily basis, but, heathens in my opinion enjoy missing the mark. They enjoy other's misery or the mayhem they cause. You know how I know? Because I have either been called one or acted like one. Moving right along, so Friend says that ex comes into her job and completely acts a fool and disturbs the peace. He must have completely raised the roof because the school police had to be called. Whaaaaaaaaat? Who brings drama to someones job in the middle of a recession you ask? HEATHONS! Heathons are my short description for the distractions or devices the enemy uses to get our mind and focus off of God and our purpose. Some might be out to even destroy your purpose if your not careful. Now maybe your going-huh I don't associate with heathens or people like that. Well good for you but you do have heathen like distractions in your life. It may not be a juvenile ex boyfriend or a wayward husband, but it could be your to do list or your tumultuous job. Your distraction could be your phone, your kids activities, a ministry, cleaning, sleep, etc. My list of heathens and heathen like things are numerous. Last week there were so many people, places, and things pulling at my time with God. Sometimes writing for this blog can seem like a distraction; because I'm constantly thinking about what to share and not thinking about my time with God. Let's be real with one another-were not breaking down the door of our prayer closets to have quiet time with God. And were not as anxious to read our Bibles like we are a retail catalog or People magazine. In fact we would much rather read the Internet blogs instead of reading our Bibles. I would much rather have a cup of coffee with God and get my day going then really sit back and enjoy a long tea party. Were rushed, were in pain, were anxious, were afraid, were annoyed, and were DISTRACTED. So many things on a daily basis are vying for our attention. How do we get to the point where we recognize the distractions and then begin to eliminate them? With prayer and discipline I believe God will give us clear discernment as to what stands in his way and then he will guide us on great ways to get rid of them. If there is a Heathen in your way today hand them over to God in prayer immediately. On the other hand, if your the Heathen in someones life prayerfully ask God to show you how he can turn the situation around for the good. In our worst times he's always waiting to give us the Love we most desire; let's get the distractions out of the way so we can receive what God would have for us. I meditate on your precepts and consider your ways Psalm 119:15

Confession Part 1

2009-11-03T12:26:00.000-08:00

Okay so your wondering why this is part 1 when I already wrote about confessing last week. Your probably wondering why this isn't part 2. Well it's because I didn't really confess. I told you the truth about confessing but I didn't confess something about me. Between a conversation with my twin sister and my husband; I discovered that I am a "NEGATIVE NAY SAYING HATER". Oh yes- I am. Some of you are going "Yeah Right" because you have received my encouraging insight, wonderful prayers, or uplifting stories. Well the truth is, I"m considered a hater to those closest to me. My family unfortunately has been the unwilling recipients of this truth and find it hard to digest because of who I am in Christ. I also find that depending on who I'm talking to- negativity comes spewing from my mouth without even a thought from me. In one sentence I can turn a whole conversation into a horrible debate. And because I read the Bible, go to Church, Love God, and host a bible study in my home I couldn't be associated with the word "Hater". When I think of Haters I think of people who are jealous, miserable, envious of others success, rude for no reason, angry, pessimistic, or ugly acting. I couldn't see myself as any of these on the surface. But when I get down deep; I can be all of those things and then some. If it were not for the spirit of God working and chiseling away at my negative exterior and interior I might be called something worst than that. It's shameful to admit, but it feels real good to be transparent. I love being honest with God even though he already knows the real me. He allows me to carry on like a child at times and like any loving Father he steps in with a loving rebuke of "Enough is Enough". I'm not a monster but the truth is; without God revealing the truth about me to me; I could easily be a reality show or a one hit wonder on youtube. Ask my husband and he'll tell you that my tirades can be quite the show. I"m not proud of my yucky self stuff, but, I'm quite elated to know that I have a God who won't settle for too much of my nonsense. He loves me enough to give me thousands of second chances and then an opportunity to get it right. With his help and the truth, I'm on my way to becoming a recovering "Haterholic". Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free. John 8:32

Confession

2009-10-30T10:27:00.000-07:00

On Monday, I made the horrible mistake of confessing something from my past to a loved one. At the time, it seemed like the right thing to do because I wanted to be free from years of guilt and shame. So I confessed my mistake and hoped to feel compassion from the loved one. Instead I was meant with ridicule and taunting and the infamous "I knew you weren't a good two shoes". "Why God" I thought to myself. I just confessed a sin to someone I love in hopes of starting the healing process-only to be meant with anguish and more judgement. Now I understand why people take stuff to the grave; they fear rejection and judgement for their honesty. If confessing is being transparent but your loved ones aren't in a position to whole heartedly receive your repentive heart what do you do? Do you take it to the grave? Do you tell them anyway and take in more shame? Or do you straighten them out because your so Holy and Righteous? By trial and error I know that you must instantly hold back, pray about it, and wait for God to lead you. I jumped ahead of God in the process of healing and ended up setting myself back. Before you bolt from the bar stool listen to this; I confessed my sins to God and to my Pastor. Second time around I was met with Love, Forgiveness, and resources to healing. God put his word and peace in my heart to reassure me that his forgiveness is what matters most. My loved ones can't love or forgive me like he can. My pastor sent me some useful tools that I believe will help me move forward and start growing in the pain. In confessing my sin to God and someone I know-there is freedom. I can't be held to the past even if the past wants to hold me. Be clear, confess to God first and then to the right ones and that's where you'll find freedom. Honesty is always the best policy even if the initial response is pain and suffering. On the other side of that pain is where God will begin the process of healing your hurts, hang-ups, and habits. And by sharing your past or pain you never know who's life you might make a difference in. Never be afraid to release your sins to God and others; there is redemption in the process. Therefore, confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another so that you may be healed. The effective prayer of a righteous man can accomplish much. James 5:16

Who feels like showing love today?

2009-10-21T11:19:00.000-07:00

Do you ever wonder about the spaceship that landed in your backyard, snatched up your husband or wife, and left behind this alien behind in place of them? I do, for instance I was at the end of my rope with my husband or shall I say his alien replacement the other day. And this alien shows up at my house and causes me to go into "I don't feel like showing you love" mode. The alien can be rude, inconsiderate, and forgetful at times; which can lead to my hidden ninja alien representative. My initial reaction is to take his big piece of chicken away, ignore his questions, leave his clothes in the floor, and hold out on the love. Are you gasping or relating to this? Does your spouse do things that gets on your nerves or makes you ponder whether they are entitled to your coveted love allotment? Do you ever wonder how you can be so gracious when aliens have left this impostor for you? Well if you won't admit it, I will. Sometimes I don't feel like loving my spouse, sometimes I would rather just give up and return him to the spaceship. Then I get the small reminder deep down on the inside, that God uses marriage as his most important institute of Love. He can and will use marriage to show his unconditional love for us; even when we are rude, inconsiderate, and forgetful. I know God uses my husband to teach me spiritual lessons about my Love relationship with him. You get what you put in to it. If you put in compassion, forgiveness, service, respect, support, understanding, and GENUINE Love-your going to get it back-most of the time that is. When Love abounds in some hard times the Bible says it will cover a multitude of sins. I have witnessed this first hand. Love can keep the big piece of chicken on your spouses plate and it can keep a lot of other shady things from happening when Love isn't the common denominator. Today try loving someone you really don't feel like loving, you know the person you might want to slap into Christmas-yes that one! Try loving them as Christ loves the Church and see what gets accomplished. Maybe nothing at first, but, I'm quite sure your donation of Love will not return back void. Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins 1 Peter 4:8

Redirect your traffic jams!

2009-10-14T09:33:00.000-07:00

This morning, I slept until 7:20. I was directing morning traffic from the bed, which sometimes can turn out favorable or it can turn out like it did today. I got up every 3 hours with my little one in the middle of the night, so I tried to trick my body into believing that 20 minutes of shut eyes would help me; because I certainly wasn't sleep with a bear and a five year old in my face. I had one changing a diaper and the other staring me down while I tried to act as though I was listening to a harp and eating on grapes. It was ridiculous of me to even fathom sleeping once all three girls were up. But I tried to anyway. I was so annoyed that I threw myself out of the bed and got my day started hesitantly. I walked into the girls room to see only half of their morning duties done. What they need to do in the morning should only take about 10 minutes but this morning it took 30. I was highly irritated and everyone in the house felt my hot morning breath wrath. As I drove home from morning drop offs, I finally cried out to God for help. "Lord, help me-I don't want to slap my kids into winter every morning, what should I do"? The still small voice said "Prepare at night". My inner voice told me to start preparing at night, that way it cuts back on the extra tasks I have in the morning. I also believe that I need to set the alarm a little earlier for the loud princesses in the kingdom. By preparing the night before, I put myself ahead so if the little one decides she wants to wait up for Jay Leno or catch some midnight madness on discovery-my morning won't be so hectic. This won't make things perfect, but at least it helps keep the roof on and my hot breath from fogging up the windows. If you wake up on the floor and find yourself ready to get rid of your lovely family, redirect to Proverbs 31(The virtuous woman)-a wonderful description of a wife and mother is there to help you slow down the household traffic jams. Proverbs 31:26-31 "She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue. She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: Many woman do noble things, but you surpass them all." Charm is deceptive , and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Give her the reward she has earned, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

Amazing Grace

2009-10-08T12:59:00.000-07:00

When I think of Grace I immediately think of my Grandmother who’s name was Grace. She could be found in “her seat” at the end of the fourth pew every Sunday hand clapping and giving “Amens” to the preachers sermon. She was a no nonsense type of woman. She was a pillar in my hometown Church, and was known for her strict and stern wisdom and her “shut it down” antics with misbehaving children. She was a beacon light but clearly kept a look of discernment and “no foolishness allowed” at all times. My siblings and I laugh about some of the “Aunt Grace” stories we remembered. So by my short description you can see how easily the word Grace can be associated with something opposite of the actual meaning, right? Grace Biblically speaking, is Gods favor and love we don’t deserve. I grew up thinking that good works kept you in Gods good graces. I, like most of you did not know that Grace is not something that we can earn. God because of his loving nature gave us Jesus on the cross as his first initial act of Grace. We didn’t deserve that! Dr. Charles Stanley expresses Grace like this “Every good thing that comes your way is an act of Gods Grace”. He goes on to say that hurt and pain, while they may invade cannot change the presence of God’s grace. Grace does not depend on circumstances. So as you sit at your computer reading this, Thank God for that. His grace is sufficient for us in a recession, his grace woke us up this morning, his grace has kept us all from being homeless, his grace can restore marriages, his grace keeps food on the table, his grace keeps our bodies healthy, and our minds right. Without grace how would any of us be surviving what the world calls a recession? Some of us don’t even comprehend how amazing his grace his when we lay down in our warm beds at night. His grace started with me when he gave me Jesus and then a stern Grandmother named Grace who prayed over me when I was in my mother’s womb. Grace is the love and blessing that we have everyday that we don’t even realize is there. Grace is Gods love for me even when I’m acting ugly, full of myself, and clearly undeserving of anyone’s love. “The Lord God is a sun and shield; The Lord will give grace and glory; No good thing will he withhold from those who walk uprightly” Psalm 84:11

Pour out Outpour

2009-09-09T11:31:00.001-07:00

Yesterday seemed so unproductive because I got nothing done on my to do list. No house chores were done and I didn't even cook dinner. When I tell you that I felt wierd not doing a lot of manual labor. However the still small voice on the inside affirmed for me that I was fruitful. Have you ever just sat next to the ocean and felt peace? Do you ever feel close to God when outside over looking a peaceful body of water? Well I do, I feel really at peace and calm. I enjoy the sounds of the waves and I feel as though God is talking to me through the movement and amazing sight of the huge body of water. Rivers, Oceans, lakes, etc. remind that Jesus says he is like overflowing river and all who thirst should come. This past trip to Monterey reminded me of this parallel he gives. So when I thought of the symbolism I applied it quickly to my day. If Jesus is like a river running through us, and he encourages us to come and thirst no more. How much more does he require us to do the same for others. "He who believes in me out of his heart will flow rivers of living water" John 7:38. From the time I woke up my heart was running over, I had to pray and pour into many hearts yesterday and loose tract of I felt like doing. In fact I spent a lot of time on the phone; normally my phone calls are socially inclined. Yesterday God used my phone to pour into the lives of others. I felt good at the end of the day even though the physical day had nothing to show for; the spiritual day had exceeded it's goal. We have a duty to others to pour into them any goodness or love that has been poured into us. It can be prayer, a kind word, free babysitting, a back rub, a thoughtful gift, or a cooked meal-we have a high calling to pour out Gods goodness into others. And Lord willing someone will pour back into us, the same love and kindness we poured into them. If God has been good to you pour it back into your family, marriage, your friends, your ministry, your community, or some unsuspecting person. It may not look like anything on the front side, but, trust me every good seed poured out will take root one day and bring about a beautiful harvest. I tell myself this everyday when my family doesn't show their appreciation for my outpour; and instead of slapping them all into Thanksgiving I am reminded that in do season it will reap the harvest God intended. "Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up". Galatians 6:9

Hush!

2009-09-08T13:10:00.000-07:00

For the holiday, my husband and I decided to go to Monterey and Pebble beach. We have never been there so it was a treat and thrill to visit some of the most exclusive and awesome looking golf courses in the country. Sunday morning we woke up really early and headed to pebble beach to play golf. Once we arrived at the beautiful spanish bay golf course, he was paired up with a threesome. After we introduced ourselves my husband realized that it was his turn to hit the ball. It was funny to me because we were politely chatting and without any hesitation everyone in our vicinity got very quiet. No one made a move, everyone was very still until he hit that ball. Apparently in the game of golf there is a moment of silence and reverence when a golfer is ready to golf his turn. There is so much respect on the course that even the maintenance crews stop what they are doing when someone is hitting a ball. Carts stop carting, talkers stop talking, movers stop moving, and walkers stop walking. There is a serious hush and stillness on the course that everyone adheres to. So when it first happened it took me by surprise and I had to catch myself in mid bite; because my breakfast sandwich bag started making noise. I was so impressed with the quiet reverence that it made me ponder. What if we treated God like that? What if we stopped what we were doing, didn't make a move, and kept really quiet until he was finished talking or doing what he does best? Why can't we give God this type of reverence on a daily basis? What would our lives look like? Like the Golfers at the Golf course, I want to treat God with the same respect. I want to make it a daily part of my lifestyle to stop and be still for him. I just hope while I'm being still no one will be rattling a paper bag of a breakfast sandwich.

Add this to your to do list!

2009-09-03T10:07:00.000-07:00

Every morning I say a prayer with my family as they leave the house and get their day started. As a Mother, I don't take this for granted and believe it's a really important part of my day. When my family walks out the door, I am powerless to control anything they face through out their day so it's vital that I entrust them to God. Even on the mornings when my five year old decides she wants to stand in the mirror doing nothing but squeezing her bear, I still have to remind myself to pray for them. This morning I was ready to set my sweet little darlings on the side of the road and let them bicker alone, even though I was distracted with that I still chose to pray for protection over them. We can't take this for granted; tomorrow is not promised to any of us. And after experiencing someone I care about watch their child lay in a hospital bed, I'm convinced that prayer is all we have to protect our children when they are away from us. We don't get guarantees that our loved ones will return to us daily, so I encourage you to pray everyday a hedge of protection around your loved ones. Even if their at school, they still stand in the need of prayer. Prayer is an awesome free tool that works and doesn't cost a thing. If it's a quick prayer in the car, don't forget to lift your family and friends up in prayer to a God who cares. He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will abide in the shadow of the Almighty, I will say to the Lord, “My refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.” Psalm 91:1-2

Miracles

2009-09-02T13:53:00.000-07:00

Do we still believe in miracles? I ask myself this everyday; and I come up with the same answer "Yes". Google miracles and you will come up with millions of accounts or testimonies of people who have seen or experienced miracles. When circumstances are uncertain, difficult, or painful we tend to forget how powerful God really is. Even with all our imaginations put together he's still more amazing than that. However, when the chips are down and were on the ropes we can't wrap our minds around God or miracles. Well in the midst of my busy hectic day, I got a phone call that my Mothers' neighbor had been shot in the head. His family has lived across the street from my mother for ages and we all watched him and his little brothers grow up. I was floored at the thought of this youngster fighting for his life at 19. I was even more surprised that such a nice kid could end up in such a critical position. In fact I remember him always wanting to sit on the porch with me and my youngest daughter. Quite the talker, he always had a goofy story or an awkward all gums showing smile on his face. He was very close to my sister and her children, so the news was quite devastating for us all. After hearing the news I rushed home to be with my nephew because he was hysterical and quite upset; so I kept praying. My baby sister sent me a text that he was going to make it and the bullet exited his face breaking his jaw. That's it I thought to myself? Shot in the head and he suffers a broken jaw? Who else but God? If not for the Grace of God where would we be? Somebody tell me how, millions die from gun shot wounds but my little friend in LA is still breathing and in stable condition right now. I can assume many things that could have saved his life, but, I'm gonna stick to my inner spirit that tells me that I and everyone in my Mother's neighborhood witnessed a real miracle. I don't know what miracle your waiting on, but, surely if God can save a child from a bullet to the head; how much more can he do for us. If your healthy and waiting on a miracle-trust and believe he can do it. I am watching a real life miracle hour by hour. How amazing it is to know that we are all entitled to this treatment from a God who loves us."No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him" 1 Corinthians 2:9

FRIENDS, HOW MANY OF US HAVE THEM?

2009-08-25T10:33:00.000-07:00

Remember the song "Friends"? I can remember singing that in school to my friends when they did something wrong. I also remember two verses out of the whole song "Friends how many of us have them" "Friends, ones we can depend on". Those two verses rang out to me this morning as I thought of my friend. This past Saturday she shared with me some things that she was facing in her marriage. Without putting her business on blast, she disclosed some personal things. We laughed and shared for a while over tea at Starbucks; and then she walked me to my car. I got in my car and drove off thinking "Wow, I"m not alone". Not only did I feel encouraged off of her strength and countenance, I felt privileged that she trusted me with her personal life. I know this may seem weird but, just sharing her story made me feel empowered to Love. Through her story I recognized a common strategy of the enemy to break up families, it encouraged me to be on guard and to realize that I'm not alone. You may have gone through something or may be going through right now, whatever the case may be; I don't believe God wants us to grow through it alone. I believe he will allow us to go through certain things so one day, we can be an ear to listen to someone in our similar situation. She was a light for me and I pray I was a light for her. Sometimes we look at our pain and wish it would just disappear but, what if God wants it there so we can use it to encourage or strengthen our Faith and someone Else's Faith. I don't care how independent you may be, everyone needs an earthly friend they can depend on, can relate to, and admonish at times to keep fighting the good fight of Faith. Even Jesus realized the need and grabbed up some disciples. If your Thelma grab a Louise, If your Ashford grab you a Simpson. Good friends are not hard to find if you allow God to do the looking. Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work; If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!Ecclesiastes 4:9-10

Do you see what I see?

2009-08-24T11:36:00.000-07:00

After you get dressed in the morning or your feeling your best, don't you take those long peeks in the mirror. When your feeling like a million bucks, you love to look at yourself; in fact you could live in the mirror with some good music blasting and just enjoy yourself. Right? Okay maybe it's just me who loves to sneak peeks of myself when I know I'm looking great. You feel the same way, you just may not admit it out loud; but you love to look at your self when you like "the bomb". So that brings me to my next thought, which is "Do we look at ourselves when were not looking pretty or gussied up"? How often are we able to say that we are transparent with our self and with God? It's not until I feel really crummy or empty on the inside that I take a hard look at myself. There's no eyeshadow or spiral curls in the way of my vision, just real hard reality checks. This morning I had to deal with something that I thought I had released a long time ago. With the prompting of the Holy Spirit, I realized that I am not a really nice person with unforgiveness in my heart. I have written on this topic many times, prayed hundreds of prayers and thought I was done. It was until God illuminated certain behaviors of mine that reflect some deep rooted junk still lingering. Like week old garbage it's still sitting around and it's funky. This morning I was honest with God about my unforgiveness and why I feel validated, but I didn't get the approval I thought I would. Instead I got loving rebuke. If your like me your not sure how to truly 100% forgive and let go; however, God says to give it to him daily. Depending on the depth of the unforgiveness-you might have to do it hourly. Today I decided that I'm going to give my short comings and set backs to him daily and sometimes hourly if I have to, until I am completely free from old and new "self stuff". And I also decided that I'm going to continue to self check myself as long as I want to grow and mature in my walk. Your self stuff could be unforgiveness, resentment, bitterness, anger, revenge, self pity, doubt, fear, jealousy envy, etc. Whatever it is you have to turn it over to God. Holding on to it stands in the way of your blessings. The more I'm transparent with God and myself, the more room I have to receive his blessings and answered prayers. Through prayer, bible study, and Godly influences I intend to keep moving ahead. Transparency starts when I tell God what he already knows about me. "Show me your ways, O LORD, teach me your paths; guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long. Remember, O LORD, your great mercy and love, for they are from of old. Remember not the sins of my youth and my rebellious ways; according to your love remember me, for you are good, O LORD."

Psalm 25:4-7

Do you Trust???

2009-08-20T11:23:00.000-07:00

My husband took my five year old darling to the dentist yesterday; and through the cell phone I could hear her acting a complete fool. She was hollering and screaming like Freddy Crougar had her in a head like. "Mommy help me" obviously dismayed at my calling her Dad's cell phone she proceeds to let me know through the air waves "This aint what I want". Frustrated and visibly ready to ditch his baby girl, my husband hangs up the phone insisting on one more try. An hour later she comes bouncing through the garage door cool as a fan. "How was it big girl" "It was okay Mommy- he fixed my cavities" " Did it hurt" "No Mommy" "I told you so" "You didn't trust my words" "No Mommy I didn't trust them". That tickled me so much, it made me realize that she was well aware that something inside her mind stood in the way of her trust. It's amazing how God can show me through my children some powerful nuggets. I believe the Bible, I believe that hard times and pain won't last long, but, do I really TRUST him? In my mind I believe I do, but, my actions like my five year old screaming says I don't. Her behavior was just an outward expression of what was going on on the inside; she did not trust the dentist. It wasn't until her FATHER had to be firm, persistent, yet lovingly disciplining to show her that everything was going to be okay. Like my baby, my HEAVENLY FATHER, has to remind me that through firm, persistent, yet loving discipline that if I Trust him-everything will be okay. I like that outcome, I just don't want people to see me acting like a five year old before I get to that point. Trust may be hard to do if your like me and have been through a lot and seen a lot, but, if you are honest with yourself and God about your inside doubt-he will deliver your fears and anxiety. It's like a tug of war with you battling yourself and Trust; let go of the rope daily and learn to Trust God first with everything and then let him show you how to trust people. Trust in the Lord with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge him, And he shall direct your paths. Proverbs 3:5

Back to School!

2009-08-18T11:09:00.000-07:00

Some of you are exhaling just at the thought of the title. Summer was quick but, it wasn't that quick. Our break lasted exactly 8 weeks and we did about four months worth of activities and events. You don't have to take vacations to enjoy summer or allow your precious darlings to get on your nerves. With a new baby, we kept things pretty close to home. So as I packaged my girls up real nice for the first day of school, I started to get anxious and nervous for their teacher assignment. We live in an area where families take education real serious and enjoy being hands on the process. So the buzz was buzzing all afternoon about who got what teacher. At first glance, I wasn't moved or shaken. But this morning I was somewhat inquisitive and feeling ready to start the year off right. My first grader received one of the popular most talked about Teachers, who appeared to be really loving and tender. She also had several of her buddies from kindergarten so I was pleased with that also. So now, it was time to turn my attention to my 8 year old. We hot stepped across the way to see the list to find that she only had a few buddies in the class. I kind of felt weird on the inside; I wanted her to be in a class with more familiar faces and faces who's parents I enjoyed. Now let me back up, my prayer partner Ruth and I prayed all summer for the right teachers and for God to work out all the details like friends, Teacher, influences, etc. So we were both shocked to see that things didn't appear to be the way we expected. Five seconds short of throwing grown women tantrums, we stopped ourselves to remind each other that God does not think like us, his ways are not our ways and when we pray bold prayers, we must trust his answers. We want to be in control of everything, yet we come off like we want God in control; when the truth is-we only want him in control if it means we get our way. I"m starting to learn that God is trying to do a new thing, he can't put fresh wine in old wine skins. And surely he knows what we need better than we do. So this morning started off right where I needed it to start, with God doing a new thing in me and my families life. Behold, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and a stream in the wasteland. Isaiah 43:19

Why Pay the Cost?

2009-08-15T09:35:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, I'm driving down Douglas Blvd. to Target when I see a cop on a motorcycle flashing his lights. I politely made a right so I could get out of his way. Unfortunately, he made the right with me; he was stopping me. I slowly lowered my cell phone, hoping he didn't catch my minor infraction. I rolled down my window hurriedly and say "What did I do". Now I wanted to play the Jedi mind trick with him, like I"m this law abiding citizen who is shocked and appalled at the delay. He instantly replied "I saw you in the third lane talking on the phone". Wow, I was busted that quick. Now we all talk and drive, but, do we continue to talk after we get a ticket the first time. You wouldn't, but, I would. In my disobedient spirit-I find that I like to test the patience and aptitude of those around me, so you know If I'm like this in the natural realm-my spiritual life has to be parallel. I have gotten two tickets for the same thing on the same street in less than a month-who does that? My disobedience is costly! So I sat there in the Target parking lot annoyed at the thought of another ticket on my record. What is wrong with me, was God using my cell phone disobedience to reveal to me something about my spiritual walk with him? Of course! I know what I'm supposed to do, he gives me clear directions and orders; and instead of obeying them and acting instantly to them. I do it my way, or think I can just squeeze one more thing in before I obey. I take my time in responding to his will and sometimes try and get away with things I shouldn't be doing. I sat there in the parking lot and said to myself with a knot in my throat and tears in eyes "Why do I keep playing with God, he sees everything"? "And there is no creature hidden from his sight, but all things are naked and open to the eyes of him to whom we must give account". Hebrews 4:13

V.I.P

2009-08-06T23:01:00.000-07:00

Tonight I unintentionally got on my husbands nerves. He is planning the weekend to remember for the Sacramento Community and is quite tired from all the ripping and running that needs to be done to put on a fabulous Charity Event. His benevolent spirit has once again allowed him to help raise money for breast cancer awareness. Tired and dragging his exhausted torso through the doors daily, home has been his retreat-until tonight. Like a time bomb waiting to explode, I ignited the flame by asking for a table in the V.I.P section of his golf tournament after party. "What Tha" he replies. Completely clueless- my intentions were to seek a table in a great location, so my girls and I could politely and quietly people watch. Okay maybe not politely or quietly, but, my intentions were clear "I wanted to be in the mix and see all the fun happenings". Unfortunately, after having his limbs, ears, eyeballs, top layer of skin, and cell phone casing blundered all week, the last thing he wanted was an irrelevant request from Wifey. But that's not all folks, I had the nerve to be offended that my husband wasn't rolling out the red carpet for me. In my spoiled tantrum I forgot that I am V.I.P. In a Godly humble way, we have to find some reminders that we are V.I.P, and that it shouldn't take a table in the middle of the after party to validate that. If you love God and are secure in your relationship with Jesus Christ, then you are V.I.P. People should know instantly that you are V.I.P when they recognize God in you. Your countenance and relationship should radiate V.I.P relationship in your heart. The world we live in today has so many elements that can rob us of our Godly V.I.P status . As a believer, we must choose to remember with humility and meekness that were loved and highly thought of by God. He prepares a place for us daily. So whether were in the kitchen, court side, the Church, or the V.I.P section of a party......My God says were V.I.P. "For the Lord God is a sun and shield; no good thing will he withhold from those who walk uprightly." Psalm 84:11

Old Yeller

2009-08-04T11:28:00.000-07:00

Yesterday in the Church parking lot, my children decided to act foolish which resulted in my five year old getting her foot slammed in the car door. I immediately got in the car and berated all the children because of the games and tirades I was fed up with. I was yelling so loud my throat and nose began to itch. As Mothers, why do we fool ourselves into thinking that yelling grabs the attention or obedience of our children? If I really do the math, it does nothing my but dry my mouth out and cause my forehead to crinkle like cheap leather. But for some reason I continue to yell at my kids as though they are going to get their acts together and behave like precious children. Not going to happen. My children obviously have built in mind and hearing mechanisms that can strategically tune me out and deflect my wrath. Their micro chips are quite sophisticated that even the highest pitch in my voice will not rattle their cages- all I’m capable of getting is some ruthless tattling and or immature finger pointing. Other than that there is no reform. So after my daughter’s nine-year-old friend told me that I should be ready for a nap from all that “yelling”-I was completely shame and humiliated for my behavior. From a child’s perspective yelling is tiresome and pointless. At that moment I realized that 20 years of yelling has to be dealt with. I’m a yeller and I’m not getting my point across, I’m just causing more confusion. So today I’ve decided that as I journey to wholeness, I’m throwing another character flaw off my boat yelling! God can’t use me to do anything while I’m yelling. Humanly speaking, it feels real nice to raise the roof off the car, but at the end of the day it accomplishes nothing but cottonmouth and frown lines. Another day of purging my yucky self-stuff, and hopefully one of these days there will be nothing left to eradicate. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing. James 1:4

Confessions of a Mad Black Woman

2009-07-30T00:50:00.000-07:00

Today we came home from a birthday party, I was rushing to get dinner ready and all the kids out the door to Bible Study in thirty minutes. Of course, it seemed as though everyone had other agendas besides helping. The Elementary's decided to set up an art gallery on the same counter I was using to cut up raw chicken and vegetables. The infant wanted to be in someones lap and not in a bouncy seat. The pre teens wanted to worship the T.V. God, and the Man wanted to browse the Internet for new shoes. Wow! No one seemed interested in making the Woman's time peaceful so she could keep them from bloating their bellies on winky dinky dogs by cooking a healthy meal. The nerve of these people, I'm trying to keep them alive a little longer by cooking healthy and this is what I got in return. I could feel the anger welling up in the pit of my stomach, if anger had a smell it would smell like old Bologna and cheese with collard greens on top. I was ready to release the foulness of anger and let it explode like a nuclear missile. I wanted to walk out that kitchen risking salmonella and all sorts of madness and leave my inconsiderate family to their ways. I wanted to leave them in the hands of hot dogs (and not the good kosher ones), but the fatty ones made from the pinky toes of pigs. But then I caught a glimpse of a man named Jesus and my mind shifted and my fist un-balled. I kicked it in fifth gear, got that dinner cooked, quieted that baby with warm milk, shoved those kids in the car, and headed to Bible study. All it took was one thought of Jesus and a silent moan in my loins and, nobody got slapped into Labor day. Whew! Jesus to the Rescue. Bible study was blessed, but the chicken was salty. "Be angry, yet do not sin" Ephesians 4:26

Insecurity

2009-07-28T18:39:00.001-07:00

Okay today I decided to talk about the forbidden word in our society “Insecurity”. For me this word seems to be a word that shows fear and weakness, a word that if used even lightly or loosely in a common sentence can give off the wrong impression. So after a weeklong trip

in Vegas, I realized that 70% of mankind is insecure, and the other 30% are secure in all the wrong things. Now this is my opinion and my observation after encountering and engaging people in their most exposed fragile and fickle states. I also realized that I am among the 70% because I choose to view life from a worldly perspective instead of a Godly perspective. We are insecure because our thoughts, beliefs, and priorities are not wrapped around Godly things. For instance, we are focused on money instead of Jehovah Jireh-The Lord our Provider. We are focused on the storms instead of Jehovah Shalom-The Lord of Peace. He is bigger than all of our imaginations put together and his name God has many traits, whatever insecurity we face or void we find in our hearts, he has a special characteristic to fill it. He is Adonai, The God who wants to be Lord and supreme in your life. He is Jehovah Nissi a banner for a husband stealer. He is El Shaddai when the bills are past due. He is Jehovah Tskendu when you want to be free from sin. He is Jehovah Rapha when you need a healer and the Doctor is all textbook. He is El Roi the God who sees all when you think no one is paying attention. He is El Elyon, the most high God who never sleeps or slumbers. He is Yahweh a great God who is able to accomplish all that he promises in his word. Today I decide to grasp real tightly to a secure God. He is a great God and wants us to live in the security of his power and true character. I refuse to put my trust and security in man, money, or accomplishments. I choose today to be in a place where God gets my total dependence. “For I am confident of this very thing, that he who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Jesus Christ.” Philippians 1:6 There are many things in this world that can give us temporary security and happiness, but, our real joy will come when we choose to identify with the goodness of God and all that can and will do. "Surely goodness and loving kindness will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever." Psalm 23:6

Comfort Zones

2009-07-23T14:21:00.000-07:00

My husband and I decided to bring our entire family to Vegas for our boys AAU tournament. So we boarded a plane to Vegas and decided to have some family summer fun. After getting everyone settled in their seats and eating their lunch, I decided to try and rest my eyes. I was rather beat, and needed a quick power nap. It would have been the perfect nap, since we paid the $50 upgrade for first class. My baby fell asleep perfectly in my lap, and was snug as a bug in a rug. So why not get in where I fit in-right? Wrong! I could not get comfortable for the life of me. I did just about everything but twist into a pretzel shape. To no avail, I could not sleep. I was so frustrated, because I really needed a nap and longed to be comfortable. I live for comfort. So after 50 minutes of sheer discomfort, I decided to just pray. And in my silent prayer, I discovered something about me and God. God uses my discomfort to mature me. Whenever, I pitch a tent in a comfort zone-I'm too comfortable for growth and maturity. God uses my most uncomfortable times to teach me some of the most valuable lessons. These are the times that I can use to learn, to change, and re-align myself. Discomfort brings about Gods desired changes in my life. Comfort keeps me comfortable which means I"m distracted and probably procrastinating. Discomfort keeps me in a place that is focused on Christ and what he really wants out of my life. Don't get it twisted I can be a woman with purpose in all circumstances, but, there's nothing like some uncomfortable situation to light a fire under my feet, and in my heart.

Am I Gideon

2009-07-14T11:18:00.000-07:00

Have you ever felt as if things were going no where, or God wasn't listening to your prayers? This summer has been very funny. There have been weeks when God has answered every single prayer of mine and threw in some extras. He is so Gracious and kind, and sometimes I don't understand why. I'm not a horrible person,but, there have been some days when God should have ignored me or put me on time out-but he didn't he loves me and blesses me anyway. However, this week I have been feeling really weighed down with prayers that appear to be sitting in his inbox. I'm confused.....one minute I'm raking in the love and favor-the next I'm in idle. God is not slack so he knows exactly the right time to put me and my begging in a holding pattern. If you read the 7th chapter of Judges-you'll find Gideon. The man who always needed a physical sign of God. Gideon needed to defeat the 40,000 deep midianites with his army of 10,000. The odds were against, he was afraid, and his Faith waivered. Gideon sounds like me- but here God is urging him to lead this battle and Gideon was unsure of Gods ways. God instructed him to narrow his army from 10,000 to 300. How could Gideon defeat the strong midianites with no muscle? It's funny how God operates, he designs and orchestrates things in our lives so we have no other choice but to realize that it's him, and him alone moving on our behalf. This week God is showing me that I have to start trimming the fat in my life so I can have all of him. If he is going to have complete control, I have to trust him and obey his commands. He's a precise God and every situation, circumstance, holding pattern, problem, or care is all designed so that i will never loose sight of who he is and what he does. He's bigger than all of our thoughts put together, and the moment we pitch a tent in a comfort zone or settle for a simple God-here comes the midianites. God wants us to be aware of him at all times, and through our Faith and prayers he can lead us to many triumphant victories. I'm in a holding pattern because God wants me to be aware of his mighty hand in my life on daily basis. His ways are not our ways and his thoughts are not our thoughts. I'm happy that he loves me enough to keep me focused and aware of his greatness at all times. At times my pride and ego keep me from really being a "All or nothing" disciple, he wants all. So this week I pray that I will grow through my challenges and experience the greatness of God.

Purpose?????

2009-07-13T11:50:00.000-07:00

This past thursday I had the chance to experience another Beyonce concert. With family and friends, it was quite a delight and joy to watch an amazing performer do what, she does best. My girlfriend Kim and I watched her in utter amazement, run around a hard wood stage for 2 hours in heels dancing, singing, poppin', and droppin. She put on a fantastic show. She was gracious to her crowd, and she appeared humble yet very classy and confident. The show was incredible. Well the song "Ego" came on and her lyrics state that she was created for a "purpose". I was stuck in translation for a second, I drifted off into daydream land and wondered what it must be like to live in your purpose. She was created to entertain people, to bring joy and smiles to millions faces. She knew at a young age, what her God given gift and talent was. She pursued it, perfected it, and works hard at it everyday. I admire her dedication, in a positive way-not an idolatrous fanatic way. In one performance, she inspired me to do what I was called to do-Give God the Glory through writing and helping others. God has given each one of us a special gift and if were not careful, we might be smothering it with complacency. I have a gift that I procrastinate with, and definitely do not put to good use. The purposes of a man's heart are deep waters, but a man of understanding draws them out. Proverbs 20:5. It took this awesome entertainer to remind me that I may not be able to touch millions, but, I should be using my God given talents, gifts, and resources to impact the lives around me. Israel Houghton the gospel singer says there is in power in 1. Whether 1 or 1 million it's time to start using our gifts to bless others and put smiles on their faces. God doesn't play favorites, he has called each one of us to do his will-and it might be through a make-up ministry, a clothing ministry, a writing ministry, a volunteer ministry, a teaching ministry, a cooking ministry, a praying ministry, a coaching ministry, a gardening ministry, an acting ministry, or a wellness ministry-whatever the gift or nit ch God can definitely can use it to bless others and build his kingdom. These are some harsh times we live in, it's time we rise up and start doing what God has called us to do. God gives us each a special gift or talent so that we may ultimately fulfill his purpose. Thanks Beyonce for reminding us all that we all should be putting a smile on Gods face as we live for his purpose and Glory. Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the LORD's purpose that prevails. Proverbs 19:21